Spirits of Place

Spirits of Place exist in any natural geologic feature but, those I have always found it easiest to relate to personally have been those connected to bodies of fresh Water and the Land surrounding them.  

My ancient ancestors in South Wales would have perceived the rivers closest to them to be deity.  My parents grew up on the banks of the Susquehannah River (in the North-Eastern part of Pennsylvania) as did many generations before them.  

I grew up near the Delaware River and I now live on the banks of the Schyulkill River. The Leni-Lenape who lived here before us called the River “Turtle Creek”.  The name has the added meaning of “Hidden” or “Refuge”.  

When I first moved here seven months ago, I sought to form a relationship, a connection to the Spirit of this Place and that meant the River and the Land surrounding it. 

I began visiting the banks of the River and found a Sycamore Tree (one of the species of Trees for which I bare a strong affection and affinity).  I made offerings and expressed a desire to build relationship with the River and the Tree and the Land.

At the suggestion of one of my wise and valued teachers, I carved Othala into the soft Earth beneath the Sycamore, then scraped the Earth and the Rune into a bowl.  I collected Water from the River into a jar and brought the Earth and the Water home.

In my bedroom I created an Altar to the Spirit of this Place where I now live.  I placed the Earth and the Water into silver dishes and scribed Othala into them and I placed a small Turtle fetish carved from green stone between them.  Every day that I am home, I light a candle and sing at this Altar, and every day that I can, I visit the Tree and the Riverbank and  I sing there as well.

The Spirit of this Place supports me and I give thanks for this new Friend.  Spirits of Place have been my allies since I was a small child and I give thanks for each one of them.  

The Divine Masculine, He is more than you think He is…

I was incredibly blessed this past weekend to spend it in the company of many men who embody the Divine Masculine.  I love many of these men and most of them I believe recognize the Divine Masculine within themselves.  Many, but not all. 

That is profoundly sad to me.  And since speaking Truth is part of my purpose in this life, I wish to describe some of the aspects of the God that are not always seen as such, so that those beloveds who look at me with confusion and denial when I tell them “Thou art the God” may begin to see the truth of my sight.

It is easy to see the God in His aspects of Hunter, Warrior, Mage, Priest, Father, Teacher and Guide.  Traditional Male roles of Power and Authority.  For the record, I have a great fondness for the Strength and Power to be found in Men who embody these Qualities of the Divine Masculine.  I am grateful for them and love them dearly.  My world would be a much less beautiful place for their absence.

But there are aspects of the God that are often over-looked or not recognized for the Beauty, Power and Life-giving Joy that they bring to the world, especially by those Men who embody Him in these ways.  The Lover, the Jester, the Healer, are also aspects of the Divine Masculine. 

The Lover, not only as sexual partner but, as “He who loves others with an open and tender heart.”  The God who brings Music to the world, and Art and Poetry.  He who gives warmth to others.  He who creates buildings and bridges, Who creates Magick and Enchantment.  He who draws us out of our isolation and brings us together for the warmth and pleasure of shared joy, fellowship, food, wine and song.

The Jester, The Divine Fool.  Is not irresponsible, un-intelligent, or careless but rather, He who makes us laugh, who invites us to lay down our burdens and sorrows for a time and Play, Carefree and Happy. He who allows us to return again to the innocent pleasure of being a child.  He who compels us to Dance and find Joy in the moment so that our lives can be engaged once again with a lighter heart.  He who brings us Revelry, so that we can remember that we are here to enjoy our lives.  Without Him, our world is dreary, lonely, cold despair indeed.

The Healer is “He who has compassion.”  He who cares for those in pain and who has the skills and strength and will to bring about a change in the situation.  The Healer has the courage to put others before Himself.  He is the one who recognizes the need for each of us to be touched and held.  He, like the Father and Teacher, is nurturing and strong, although He is not always recognized as such. 

Many people would ascribe these qualities to the Divine Feminine.  While I love the Goddess and respect and embrace all of her aspects, I recognize the Healer, Teacher and Poet in me as the sparks of the Divine Masculine that I embody. 

Yes, I am a Woman, a Mother, a Priestess.  I embody much of the Divine Feminine and I am grateful for the Goddess within me but, I also cherish the God, in all of His wonderful forms, including those sparks that manifest in my Female Human Soul.

Hail the God!  Hail the Divine Masculine!  He is more than you think He is…

Arianrhod; a journey to the Temple of the Moon

I am a daughter of Arianrhod.  I have not written a great deal about my Patroness.  I have made reference to Herself many times and the ways in which She has led me on my journey.  It is my intention to write more about my own experience of Herself but, She will be known to those She calls on Her own terms and so first I will offer this journey. 

This is a journey to the Temple of the Moon, a place to meet with Her face to face.  I wrote this journey a few years ago, it was a gift given to me by the Lady Herself as a means of guiding others to a place where they could meet with Her.  Blessed Journey.

 You are standing beside a lake, a soft mist is rising from its glassy surface.  The moon overhead is full and bright in a deep sky, filled with stars.

Before you on the bank is a small white boat tied to stone moorings.  There are ancient symbols and graceful spirals etched into the stones. You climb into the boat and sit and it moves, out into the lake. 

The surface of the lake appears undisturbed as the boat carries you farther and farther from the shore.  You try to see into the dark water but, the still surface only reflects the moon and the stars in the dark sky overhead.  The mist that rises from the water surrounds the boat and you can no longer see the shore, indeed you can see nothing in any direction but the sky above, the water below and the mist all around you.  You are engulfed in dark water, and dark sky and mist, silver in the moonlight.  Surrounded by millions of stars.

You smell only clean water and hear only the soft lapping against the sides of the boat as it continues to carry you, you know not where.  Just as you begin to despair that you will be lost in the mists forever, the mist clears and you see an island.  It is heavily forested with tall ancient trees.  The boat comes to rest and as you step out onto the stone moorings you notice the same symbols and spirals etched into their surfaces.

A stone stair leads up into the woods from the landing and you begin to climb.  The moonlight through the trees is bright and illuminates the stair as you climb up and up through the trees, their branches whispering in the soft breeze.  You notice an owl gliding silently above you and you watch her for a moment. 

When you bring your focus back to the stair you have reached the top and before you is a circular structure.  Tall graceful arches surround a stone floor.  The bright Moon and starry sky illuminate the arches and the floor and they shine silver in the moon-bright night.

At the archway before you is a silver basin of water and a small silver bell.  You purify yourself with these and enter the Temple of the Moon.  The Temple is filled with Moonlight and a woman stands before you.  Her hair and skin are shining silver and she seems clothed in moonlight.  She holds a silver wheel sparkling with stars in her hands.

This is Arianrhod, Lady of the moon and stars, Keeper of the silver wheel, Goddess of Fate.  She greets you and you speak with her.  Ask what questions you will.  You may dance in celebration if you wish.

When you feel it is time to go, Thank the Lady and take your leave of Her and descend the stair, the boat will take you back to the place that you began.

the Queen of the Abyss and Past Life Work

In the past few months, two of my teachers have revealed to me impressions they had when they first met me (and ever since).  They are not wrong but, to be honest, it is a bit unsettling to be told that the secrets you thought you kept well hidden are not. 

After one of my teachers mentioned the Sorrow that I have carried through too many lives, (and the image she described was intimately familiar to me), I went searching with the intention to fully know it and release it.

http://storiesfromthecauldron.blogspot.com/2014/05/to-queen-of-abyss.html

http://journeysoftherunes.blogspot.com/2014/06/laguz-temple-of-sorrows-and-queen-of.html

Since then, I have journeyed to the Temple of Sorrows twice more.  When I first returned to the Queen I found her as I had left her, but weighed down with guilt and shame.  She showed me more of what her “sins” had been, and I spoke with her about the lifetimes we have spent in “penance” and that the time for forgiveness and peace had come.  That she had taught me compassion and that she could let go now.  The crack in the ceiling of the Temple widened and I embraced her and promised to return again and left her.

I returned once more with the intention of transforming her through the fire of sunlight into ashes that would rise as a Phoenix.  This was the image given to me by my teacher and it was my expectation and my hope.  I found the Queen in white, calm and almost smiling but when the ceiling opened fully and let in the light, it was moonlight and not sunshine.  Instead of a blaze of flame and ash, instead of the Phoenix rising, there was sparkling white light and a dove flew away into the starlit sky. 

I expected the Temple to be empty.  That the work was complete…but of course it is never that simple.  When I turned to leave, someone else stood before me, someone full of pain and rage and fear.  So the work continues, as it always will until I have finished with this life.

I have been chronicling my exploration into my sexual identity on another blog,

http://exploringthelookingglass.blogspot.com/

After reading one of my posts about a recent discovery, another of my teachers had commented that she had known that I harbored a vast amount of untapped anger.  The work  that I have ahead of me will not surprise her. 

Most people are blind.  Most people cannot see even a little past the glamours built over decades, let alone those built over lifetimes.  That is why it is so necessary to have teachers with vision and the courage to be honest about what they see, when you are ready to hear it.

I give thanks for wise teachers, for the Gods who have led me to them and for the Queen of the Abyss.  Blessed Be.

No Holding Back

This past Midsummer, my coven held the kind of ritual that makes magick that follows you home.  We were challenged to declare our beauty and our successes, our flaws and what we have left undone, and what we will do to continue that work.  We also challenged one another because; sometimes we see each other more clearly than we see ourselves. 

One of the wisest women I have ever met is an initiate of my coven and one of my greatest teachers.  Her challenge to me was “no holding back”.  That is indeed one of the principles that I have been striving to live by, not always successfully.  Lifelong habits are difficult to break.  It takes practice and diligence.

This past autumn I had the opportunity to fall in love, and indeed I did fall in love, with someone that I have loved and respected and trusted for quite some time.  This man is beautiful and brilliant and strong and compassionate and there is no reason in the universe that I should not have fallen in love with him, in fact it was quite inevitable I think.

Yet, instead of telling him, or showing him, instead of going to him and loving him the way my heart desired to, uncensored, without reservation, I held back.  I did not hold back out of fear, but gave myself rational and logical “reasons” and they matter not even a little bit because, I let the opportunity to love him go unrealized. 

What “reason” could possibly justify squandering the chance to show someone how you love them?  Even, or especially, if it was only a brief moment in time, would not every second that you could share with them be a priceless treasure not to be wasted?  Every moment we live is a chance to embrace our soul’s true calling.  What higher calling can there be, but to love others the way our hearts would dictate?

I let that chance pass by, I held back.  I cannot change that, life does not work that way.  But I will not continue to hold back.  Not my love, nor my magick, not my words, nor my power, not my desires, nor my purpose.  Not with my family, not with my friends, not with my beloveds nor with my community, nor with anyone else with whom I might fall in love.

I will live my life, no holding back, so mote it be.

Know Thyself

The first goal of a witch is to know thyself.  Unless we know who we are, all our study, all our work, all our magick, gains us nothing.  I met with a High Priestess of my Tradition last week.  She is particularly skilled at natal astrology and my High Priestess suggested I speak with her to gain clarity about the next steps on my journey. 

She gave me guidance, and a great deal of insight.  She pointed out to me a few things that I have not seen.  I have not been willfully blind, but much of my internal workings are still hidden to my conscious mind.  And much of my energy is spent keeping them hidden from myself, as well as from the sight of others.  I come from a long line of secret-keepers.

This woman is adept at seeing beyond the glamour that my instinctive self creates.  She is equally adept at helping me to see clearly as well.   She gave me a few challenges, and the first among them is to see past the distractions and to finally see who I truly am.  She pointed out to me that I know who I truly am and that, deep down, I really do not care what anyone else thinks of me.  

She is right in that.  Other’s opinions of me are irrelevant.  Their perceptions are almost never accurate or reliable.  Most people are blind, and their opinions are always, at least in part, colored by their own emotions and experiences.

What does matter to me is what I think of my actions, motivations, emotions, behavior, and how they affect others.  What matters to me is whether or not I express myself with integrity and honor, and what impact I have on those I love.

What matters to us says a lot about who we truly are. I know what matters to me.

just sitting by the fire...

This past weekend I attended a small Pagan festival with a group from my Tradition.  About forty of us went camping in Virginia with about eighty other Pagans (that we did not know before).  It was raining and sunny, warm and cold, quiet and noisy.  There was learning and teaching, rituals and cooking (and dish duty for those of us that do not cook), eating, drinking and not enough sleeping.  There was laughter and singing, grumbling and bitching, making new friends and visiting with community.  It was both wonderful and exhausting.

I spent a good deal of time just sitting by the fire.  Not the “Big Balefire” but the small campfire in the quiet space at the edge of our encampment.  This was the most profound experience that I engaged in this weekend.  Each time that I had to leave the fire, to go to bed or take a shower, to eat or wash dishes, to attend a class, or a ritual, or to pack up and travel home, I was at least a little reluctant to do so.

From my place beside the fire, I shared in community.  I witnessed family and long-time lovers, two young people making a new connection, and a very wet mother and her two small children warming themselves beside the fire of new friends.  I heard the alarm when the smallest went missing and the joy of her being found wandering unharmed down the road the way little ones will do.  I heard funny songs and told the story of a zombie war and the cauldron at the center of it.  

I sang a chant of my own making and sought to gain answers from the embers.  I asked questions and learned about things from others with knowledge I do not yet possess.  I shared tears with a coven-mate whose heart is amazingly open and full of love.  And, alone for a brief while, I practiced tending the fire (successfully to my great satisfaction).

I had been told over a year ago on a journey that I need to spend time just sitting by the fire, and tending to it.  It was time well spent and I give thanks for the fire and for community.

Gwydion, Wise Father

Gwydion is one of the Gods with whom I have a long and blessed relationship.  His stories can be found in “Math ap Mathonwy” the fourth book of the Mabinogion.  He is the nephew of King Math and the brother of Arianrhod, my Patroness.  He is a shape-shifter and “trickster”.  He is eloquent with illusion and persuasion and gifted in magick.   He is the quintessential wizard or magician and some consider him the basis for Merlin of the Arthurian sagas.

My experience of Gwydion is as a kind and loving Father.  A Father of light, magick and healing.  He is an advocate, teacher and guide and as nurturing as He is wise.

 

He didn’t start out that way though.  In the first stories about him he uses his magick to commit fraud to start a war in order to facilitate the rape of a young woman.  His duplicity and culpability are discovered by his uncle, who not only compensates the young woman as best he can but, punishes Gwydion and the rapist by transforming them into animals, a series of three mating pairs, for the following 3 years they take turns being male and female and baring offspring. 

After this experience Gwydion’s character is that of the Father that I know and love.  He takes up the newborn and un-formed son of his sister, using his magick in raising him, caring for him, advocating for him, guiding and teaching and eventually healing him. 

With his uncle, he uses magick to manifest the Goddess of Sovereignty as the Flower Bride and, with his magick She transforms into an Owl (Her Crone form).  

He is an example of how a magick-worker grows in the use of magick from unethical behavior in service to the base desires of an immature and selfish person, to the service of their own loved ones, to the service of the Goddess (the land) and the community.

 He is an example to me and an ally and I am grateful for his presence in my life.

“Gwydion, Father and Mage,

Healer, Teacher and Guide,

Wise One be here, Wise One be here!”