Magick happens in Ritual. In good Ritual, it follows you home. In powerful Ritual, it tears you open and pulls down the walls, it leaves them in piles of rubble, and lets loose all that was hiding within them, within you. It takes time, I think, to become accustomed to the affects of that kind of Magick. And not every Ritual is designed to do that. Some are for celebration, some for empowerment, but each person who participates will be affected according to their need, preparation and will.
I have been stuck for a while. I have been afraid and frustrated and lonely. I have been holding onto things as if they somehow keep me alive. When I reach that place, I need help tearing down the walls. I am not always capable of tearing them down, truth be told, I am not always capable of seeing them, and it is difficult to pull down that which you cannot see surrounds you. I have vowed that I will not let them stand but, sometimes I need the catalyst of powerful Ritual, and the Magick that happens there, and the Magick that follows, to begin again.
The Raven of the Void provided that catalyst, and the Magick has indeed followed me home. I have been tearing at the walls every day and exploring what has been hiding behind them. I have been writing every day and discovering things that are very uncomfortable, but that are necessary if I am to serve my Community and my Gods in the way that They would have me serve. Happiness is also one of the purposes of this Magick and, I want to be a happier person. The Magick begins in Ritual but, the work has only begun.