Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Leap of Faith

I have done something foolish.  Or at least my pessimistic, doubting, Eyore voice tells me that it was foolish.  I have left my job without another offer on the table.  There are a few offers pending, I hope.  But as of yesterday, I do not have a job.  I have enough money to pay the rent and the bills for a while, I have a few job offers pending and there are a few positions that I can take to get by, if it comes to that.  I have parents, siblings and an ex-husband and friends who will not let me fall on my face.  But I have no clear picture of the future, no guarantee in writing.  No sure-thing plan.

This was a leap of faith.  It was a response to my body, heart, soul, mind, and lower self.  I should think I would be panicked right now.  I should think that my middle, talking self would be screaming at me to “take it back”.  But I am not panicked, not even middle self.  I am calm and peaceful and I feel well.  I slept well, I am eating, I did not empty my stomach this morning as soon as I got out of bed. I no longer feel in danger.

The divination that I have done shows me that this is the right action.  My parents and others whose opinions and advice I respect also support me in this.  But mostly my body tells me that this was necessary and that it will all be ok.

I will be spending my days actively pursuing employment. I will be spending time cleaning and organizing my home and spending time with my Pwca. I will be spending time in the natural world as well.  I will be spending time reading and writing and doing magick to bring a healthy and prosperous job. I will take advantage of the time until I start the new job (the one I do not have yet) to re-set my energetic state and that of my home, to do magick to cleanse myself, heal myself and prepare myself.  

I am also hoping to use it to spend time with some of my loved ones who I have not been able to enjoy since this past challenge began.  Isolation has been one of the worst aspects of it.  I have been suffocating and now I need to breathe. 

This is a thing I could never have seen myself doing.  I am more than a little surprised at myself for being able to step out of the situation without a clear plan, a guaranteed safety net.  I had been looking for the lessons and this was never one I had imagined but, I am glad that I made the leap.  

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