Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Longing for the Shadows

Pathways by Susan Seddon Boulet

I miss the shadows.  I have committed to not dwelling there, only two short visits are allowed to me until the spring.   I do not want to go back, nor is that truly possible but, I am a creature of the light and the shadow and I feel as though I have been living in exile.  I long to return to my Patron, to rest in the arms of Himself, to not have to be strong, to not have to be brave, to just be small and silent and still and unseen for a while.  I long for the comfort of being held and cared for by Him who makes me safe.  I long to go wandering in the land of shadows, to go exploring in the sparkling depths of night, when the world is sleeping and I can fly through the dark sky among the stars, silent and invisible.  I long for the time when my exile will be ended and I may choose to dwell as long as I wish in either shadow or light, when I can work in whatever place seams best to me to accomplish that which I desire.  I will not hide there again in fear but rather I would choose to rest there, to learn, to be reborn, to listen and maybe to see that which cannot be seen in the full, bright light of day.  Growth happens in the dark, so does dreaming.  I miss the dream-world of shadow.  


  1. Ah yes, the problem of needing downtime. And yes, even seeds need darkness to germinate.

    You might consider (this is my personal opinion, mind) the possibility that it would be okay to not have to be brave ... and still be in the light. Is there, perhaps, Someone who might hold you and keep you safe even in the light? Maybe She is waiting for you to ask?

  2. So what is the purpose of denying yourself the shadows? I am sure you have a good reason, and a plan. But you know me. I worry that without seeking the darkness to balance the light you're seeking, you'll throw yourself off kilter or find yourself diminished without the strength of the darkness.

    1. It is a vow, asked for by Himself. One year, only short visits at Mabon and Sahmaine. I think the idea is to prevent me from quitting before the light can actually take hold. lol Doesn't mean I am not allowed to long for the shadows, or for Him for that matter. But I think He wants me to gain a better perspective on the Shadows themselves.