Dreams are allusive things.
They can be fleeting attempts at problem-solving that our brains make during our sleep cycles as a means of coping with the stresses of our mundane lives. They can be Messages from our Gods, Ancestors or Allies, that come to us while we are in a more receptive state and, if we are fortunate we will retain enough memory of the details to decipher the meaning. They can be visions granted to us while we are awake but, in a place of receptivity. They can be journeys that we make while we are in trance (either intentional or non-intentional) such as “daydreaming” And they can be memories of realities that we long for (either from the past or from the future, from this life or others) and yes, they can be “night-mares”
No matter which form they take, they are essential, important to our health, growth, evolution. Even our “night-mares” teach us. But those are not the dreams I wish to explore. I want to examine the “dreams” that follow us from early childhood onward. I want to look at those dreams that express our deepest desires, and hopes, those dreams that are truly and deeply a part of our identity.
The dream that I remember since childhood, the one that I long for most deeply in my heart and soul, can be distilled into an image of Yuletide. I think is true for many others. I think the fact that this dream is as yet unfulfilled is the reason that so many suffer so deeply at this time of year. And for me, this dream has not yet come to pass. It is still a shadow of love, a shadow of joy. It is still yet a hope of light. I still experience grief for the dream that has not yet come.
I know the pain in your heart, the fear that it will never come, the terror that somehow you do not deserve to experience the warmth of that hearth. That the shadows are all you were ever meant to have, that the light of family, of love, of comfort, of belonging is not for you.
I still feel that longing in my heart and I still grieve for that dream but, I will not forsake it. The Gods did not give me this dream to torture me by denying it to me forever. My Goddess would never have allowed me to choose to be someone who wanted something so deeply, yet would never be allowed to attain it. My Gods are not that cruel. My dream will someday come true. And I will not forsake my dream.
In the meantime, I light candles; I light the tree in my home. I give gifts and write letters to my loved ones. I make changes to my own habitual behavior, I reach out to my daughter and will spend “Christmas” day at her table. And I hold hope in my heart. I hold the light in my soul. I hold my dream and I choose to believe that loving others and holding the light, will bring me my deepest desires.
I will light a candle for you as well. The universe is a beautiful place and Love is the greatest law. You deserve to have that which you long for. Have Hope and Dare to Dream. May the Blessings of the Gods be upon you this Yule.