The Blessing of the Waters 2019

The Blessing of the Waters is a Public Community Ritual held annually by the Weavers of the Moonfire, with the assistance of many members of our Tradition, the Assembly of the Sacred Wheel.  This year the Ritual was to take place on Saturday August 17^th with the Moon in Pisces.  But a few weeks before, a flash flood damaged the Park where the Ritual is held, and it will be closed for repair work until sometime next year.  We were unable to secure another location and so, we have had to cancel the Public Ritual until next year. 

The Water of our Planet is a Closed System, the Water we have is all the Water we will ever have, and All Water is One Water.  When we do work to Heal the Waters, we work to Heal All the Water.  The Waters in Flint MI, the Water at the Standing Rock Reservation, the Waters in Nebraska, the Waters of the Gulph of Mexico, the Water in my town, the Water in your city, and the Land that Water gives Life to.

I feel very deeply that this work is necessary and critically important, especially because the Waters and the Land are so much out of Balance.  Water is Sacred, It gives Life to the Land and to all who dwell upon It. It needs to be Honored, Respected and Protected, now more than ever.

Please join us in the following work on Friday September 13^th or Saturday September 14^th with the Full Moon in Pisces., to help carry the energy of the Blessing of the Waters forward until we can once again come together as a Community and do this work in the mundane world.  What follows is a simple Rite to be done either as solitary work or together in a small group.  It can be altered as needed by each person who chooses to engage in it. It can be done once, or as often as you choose.  The combined Blessing and Healing by everyone who is willing to do this Work, will come together on the Astral and will help to Heal the Waters of the Earth we all share. 

Water is Sacred, Water is Life.

The Blessing of the Waters

Draw Water from whatever source you can safely access into a vessel of your choosing.  (You may choose a small stream, or a lake somewhere near your home, or you may choose the tap in your kitchen.)   Set the vessel filled with Water on the ground or floor in front of you.

Breath deep, Ground and Center yourself, burn sweetgrass or sage or incense, do whatever you would to prepare yourself for Sacred Work.

(I am including the chants that we use in the Ritual, it is easy to find recordings of them on the web. Of course, you may sing whatever you like, Also, you may use the words provided here, or you may use your own.)

Sing as you prepare yourself to begin the Work.

“Born of Water, Cleansing, Powerful, Healing, Changing, I am.”

Cast a Circle if that is a part of your usual practice.

(when we Cast the Circle for the Public Ritual, everyone sings as the Circle is Cast,)

“Air moves us, Fire Transforms us, Water Shapes us, Earth Heals us,

and the Balance of the Wheel goes ‘round and ‘round,

and the Balance of the Wheel goes ‘round.”

Call the Waters of the North, East, South, West, Sky, Land, and Body.

As you call to each of the Waters, see them in your mind’s eye, know to Whom you call.

“I call to the Waters of the North, to the Lakes, Fjords and the Artic Seas.

Waters of the North, I call to you, Waters of the North, Flow to me.

I call to the Waters of the East, to the Ocean, Bays, and Marshes,

Waters of the East, I call to you, Waters of the East, Flow to me.

I call to the Waters of the South, to the Swamps, Bayous and Deltas,

Waters of the South, I call to you, Waters of the South, Flow to me.

I call to the Waters of the West, to the Rivers and Reservoirs,

Waters of the West, I call to you, Waters of the West, Flow to me.

I call to the Waters of the Sky, to Rain, Mist and Snow,

Waters of the Sky, I call to you, Waters of the Sky, Flow to me.

I call to the Waters of the Land, to the Aquifer, Spring and Watershed,

Waters of the Land I call to you, Waters of the Land, Flow to me.

I call to the Waters of my Body, to Blood, Sweat and Tears,

Waters within, I call to you, Waters within, Flow through me.”

Call to he Spirit of the Waters and to the Spirits of the Land

“I call to the Spirit of the Waters, to the Sacred Water that gives Life to the Land and to all who dwell upon it, Come and join me in this Work of Healing. 

I call to the Spirits of the Land, to Soil, Rock, and Tree, to all who grow, fly, walk, crawl or swim.  To all who live upon the Land and all who draw Life from the Water. Come and join me in this Work of Healing.”

(If you desire to Call upon the Lady and the Lord do so by what Names you know Them, I would Call upon Danu as Lady of the Waters and Cernunnos as Lord of the Wilds.)

Make a Statement of Intention, that you are working to Bless the Waters to bring Healing to the Waters and to the Land and to restore Balance between Them. 

Make a Statement of Commitment if you choose to do so, to Honor, Respect and Protect the Waters.

State out Loud “Water is Sacred, Water is Life!”

Now focus your attention upon the Water in the vessel.  Raise energy through drumming, rattling, dancing, chanting, singing or toning.  Through sound, send the energy into the Water, see it transform, see it sparkle with Light and Healing.  Continue to send Healing into the Water until you have transformed It as much as you are able.

Seal the working by singing the Cherokee Water Blessing to the Water in the vessel.

“Witchita du ya, du ya, du ya, Witchita du ya, du ya hey,

Witchita du ya, du ya, du ya, Witchita du ya, du ya hey,

Atcha ta ney ya, ney ya, ney ya, Atcha ta ney ya, ney ya hey.

Atcha ta ney ya, ney ya, ney ya, Atcha ta ney ya, ney ya hey.”

(We acknowledge that we are not Cherokee, we sing the Cherokee Water Blessing in the spirit and purpose for which it has been shared. We do so with respect, honor, and gratitude to the Cherokee People for their generosity in sharing it with the world.)

Give Thanks to All who joined you in this Work.

“I give Thanks to the Waters of the North, East, South, West, Sky, Land and Body.

I give Thanks to the Spirit of the Waters and to the Spirits of the Land,

I give Thanks to the Lady and the Lord, for joining me in this Work of Healing,

Ho now in Peace and in Grace,I Give Thanks!”

(If you Cast a Circle, release it now in the way that is usual for you.)

Now, carry the vessel to the source from which you drew the Water, (or if you used the tap in your home, to a patch of open soil) pour the Water into the Source or into the Earth.

Sing as you carry the Water to that place,

“The River is Flowing, Flowing and Growing, the River is Flowing, down to the Sea,

Mother carry me, your child I will always be, Mother carry me, down to the Sea.”

It is Done, So Mote It Be.

(If you have included Water from a non-local source in your working, do not pour that Water into a local source.  Water can contain microbes that are invisible to the naked eye and you could inadvertently introduce a non-indigenous organism into the local ecology, which is potentially dangerous in unforeseeable ways.)

In Perfect Love and Perfect Trust

As we enter into ritual space as a Coven, each of us says aloud, “I enter this Circle in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust”. 

 At a Ritual a few months ago, I was asked by one of our guests why we say those words.   He was concerned that, if it was a requirement of entering Ritual with the Coven, he was not capable of meeting such a standard. 

 I reassured him that it was not a requirement, but rather an intention, an ideal to which we aspire, and that none of us are perfect in our practice of that ideal.  

If we cannot achieve such perfection, why would we use those words?  Because words have power, and stating our ideals, our intentions, helps us to remember our common goal, our aspirations, and our commitment to each other to continue to “practice” Perfect Love and Perfect Trust with each other, and with ourselves. 

While none of us can achieve Perfect Love and Perfect Trust all the time, there is magick in ritual, when we can reach beyond our limitations, and achieve for a moment, something beyond our own abilities.  Each time we reach beyond ourselves and achieve, if only for a moment, a glimpse of our ideal, we expand our own capacity for the practice of that to which we aspire.  We “practice” Perfect Love and Perfect Trust.  It is not just a quaint twist of language but a Truth that we “practice”.

We, as a Coven, have committed to “practicing” Perfect Love and Perfect Trust with each other.  It is an ideal that we have explored as a group and as individuals.  We have shared with each other what that ideal looks like, and discussed how we manifest that ideal, with Coven, with Community, with our loved ones and with ourselves.  We have all grown and learned and expanded our understanding of what those words mean, and how to put such ideals into practice in ritual and in our lives.

There is inherent risk in such work.  Just as we cannot achieve perfection in our practice, we are also, in our humanity, not ascended beings. We all have secrets; we all have shadows.  We will each, at some time or another, let another down in some way and we will all be let down by someone we love and trust.  This is a truth of human experience, Family, Friends, Lovers, Coven and Community.  So, what does it mean to practice “Perfect Love and Perfect Trust” in the light of such Truth?  Or do we give up such a lofty ideal in the attempt to avoid the pain that results from the inevitable?

It is my belief that the bonds of emotional intimacy that are forged by such work, and the vulnerability that is inherent in those bonds, hold the potential for greater magick and transformation. The opportunity to learn and to practice forgiveness, resilience, strength, courage, knowledge, wisdom and power with ourselves and with one-another is worth the risks of personal pain, from someone we love failing us, and from us failing someone we love.

Love is worth the risk of failure, and the risk of pain.  Love is worth vulnerability.  Love is great Magick.  Love is the Magick that can re-enchant the world. Love is the magick that can heal our world and ourselves. Perfect Love and Perfect Trust are ideals worth aspiring to and worth practicing.

May you be blessed with both.  Blessed Be!

Opening...again

Since the loss of my brother in July, I have been struggling against an old obstacle.  I have worked relentlessly the past ten years to open myself to feeling…everything. I began with being open, engaged, and connected in ritual space, then with connecting to inspiration, and intuition, and imagination, love and grief and sorrow and joy, desire, passion and pleasure, anger, purpose and power…everything that makes me a living, breathing, loving person. 

Being closed off to my Self, my mind, soul, heart, body, and shadow, is like being asleep, or half-alive.  It feels like sleepwalking through the world, and it has robbed me of my energy, my motivation and my joy.   It has also robbed me of my compassion, empathy and connection to others.

The loss of my brother was the first but, there have been a series of losses, none of which I have felt fully.  And while I have not lost my connection to my Gods, I have not returned to the head-blindness and deafness, for which I give thanks, this disconnection from feeling is an obstacle that has become intolerable.  I will not live that way again. 

I visited the Sweat Lodge this past weekend and there I became acutely aware of the current state of my magick.  I gave thanks for the blessings I have been given. I offered up the distractions and worries (and a portion of my grief) that interfere with my being fully aware and connected to myself, and I asked for the return of opening that I may again fully engage with all of myself and with those that I love and with my purpose in the world.

This past week, in conversations with two of my coven-mates I had become unexpectedly “emotional”, even becoming disproportionately angry about something relatively trivial.  At first, I did not recognize why I was feeling so strongly, and then it occurred to me that my prayers within the Lodge had been heard and were being answered.  I give thanks for the return of opening, and I will continue this work. 

One of the ways that I intend to do this is by engaging in new experiences and striving to be fully present with them. 

This has reminded me that the lessons of this life are always repeating, we become more adept at the work each time we return to a lesson, we learn new ways, and practice and practice and practice, and through practice we become wiser and perhaps more graceful.

So, I am opening…again.  May my Gods bless me in my work.

Altars and the Structure of Daily Practice

I love altars.  I have many of them throughout my home.  When I moved from the Tree-house to the Keep, figuring out where the altars belonged, and how they should be dressed, was an essential part of the process of settling in.  It took a while, but my altars provide an important structure for my daily practice.

My altars are physical reminders, as well as sacred spaces.  I visit them to make offerings, and prayers to the Spirits that support me in my life and my work.  I light candles and incense and I tend to them each week, cleaning and pouring water or wine.  I sing and offer thanks for the blessings I have been given.

In the Christian faith the “Stations of the Cross” serve a similar purpose.  As the seeker walks from one station to another, they contemplate the divine truth represented there and recite certain prayers of devotion.  This structure and style of practice is helpful to me and supports my daily practice.

Daily practice is vital to my spiritual well being.  It is something that I need in order to thrive, to re-enchant my daily life.  Without it, I become faded and tired and my magick suffers.  Without daily practice I slowly starve. 

Daily practice is an essential structure in my life.  It supports my well being and my magick.  I am a believer in the power of daily practice.  I also believe that it is important to have structures in place to support that practice. 

I have come to see that the moment when a Witch crosses the threshold to Power, to living a truly magickal life, is often the moment when they begin to establish a daily practice to support that life and that work.  Whatever the form or structure, or lack thereof, however that practice is manifested by the seeker, it is the practice or absence of practice that makes the difference between struggling to live a life of magick and, living a magickal life.

On the power and necessity of Water...

My body needs water.

I need to drink water to keep my body clean inside, to keep it healthy and strong, to keep it clear of toxins and stagnation.  I need to have clean water flowing through me to be well.

I need water flowing over my body.  I need it to flow over my hands and my feet to clear off the detritus that clings after walking about in the world.  I need it to clear my subtle bodies of the stuff of life that does not nurture.

I need it flowing through my heart, mind and soul, and from my heart, mind and soul.  I need it to flow like the river, so that the pressure does not become too great and burst the container, so that it does not stagnate and become toxic.

Water is the universal solvent.  It cleans away detritus and toxins and stagnation.  Flowing, it has strength and force that can accomplish great movement and change.  It carves and wears and shapes and moves all that it comes in contact with.  It is the most fluid and mutable and yet tangible element of all.

I am mist and rain and torrent and snowfall…and I am the river and the lake…and a wave in the universal Ocean.

Water is Life.

Freyja-Vanadis; a new relationship...

Twenty-one years ago, when I began this journey and began meeting the Gods and building relationships with them, I learned the story of Freyja-Vanadis, the Vanir Goddess of love, sex, beauty, war, death and magick who lived with the Aesir and learned the Runes from Odin and in return taught Seidr to the All-Father.  At that time, and for years after, I made petition to Her to work with me, but the Lady was silent. 

I have always believed that She heard me and that Her silence was Her answer…I was not ready.  It was not that I was unsuitable, or that I was unworthy…I was simply not ready to learn the lessons that she would teach me.  I had work to do, other lessons to learn, skills to develop, before I could understand or effectively practice the magick that she had to teach me.

I attended the Conjure Dance at Sacred Space/Between the Worlds Conference a couple of weeks ago and, this year I was successful in opening enough to enter trance and converse with the Gods.

I spoke with and heard the voices of Beloved Deities with whom I have had relationships for years.  It was profoundly moving and I am grateful that the work that I have done in this past year was successful.  It was something that I have spent a great deal of energy and focus on and it meant a great deal to me to discover that I am indeed capable of opening enough, and to do so in the presence of other human beings.

But the most surprising voice was that  of the Lady.   Freyja-Vanadis spoke to me.  And what She said to me was this,

“Now, you are ready”.

And so I am once again building  a new relationship with the Goddess.  She has already brought many new experiences and insights, new friendships and new perspectives, a new understanding of my Self and of my work in the world, and of my service to others, and of the nature of love.  And I see more clearly what I have now that I did not have then.  

I am both honored and filled with hope to begin the work that She and I will do together…to begin the work that She would teach me.  I am also filled with the joy I find in knowing Her.

Hail Freyja-Vanadis, Lady of Light, Beauty, Fire, Passion, Joy, Magick and Love! Hail and Welcome!

Words and Whispers

Words have power.  Spoken aloud, they carry our power and focus it with our intent and release it into the world.  Spell-craft is often accomplished with words directing the energies that have been gathered from physical sources, from spirits who have been invoked with language.  Spoken words help us to refine and express our intent, and to keep our selves focused upon that intent. 

I believe in speaking aloud.  I believe in invoking my Gods, Ancestors and Spirits with song, and expressing my devotion with my voice.  I believe that words spoken in sacred space act upon us until the stated intent has come to pass. 

But I also believe in the power of whispers.  Words spoken aloud have power and whispers have power.  Whispering to the herbs we use in spell-craft, to stones, to magickal objects, to tools, enchants them with our personal magick.  Whispering is an intimate form of expression.  It is like telling a close and trusted friend our deepest secrets and asking them to keep those secrets and to help us to accomplish our desires.

Whispering our spells in the moments of our daily life can be a powerful way of keeping the magick in our consciousness, of keeping our intent in focus, and of helping us to act in accord.

Whispering is magick.

Unlocking the boxes...

For the past six months or so one of my specific and stated intentions has been to unlock the boxes within myself, to discover what lies within them, and to master whatever I might find there. 

The boxes and my intention to unlock them are not constantly in my waking consciousness.  Sometimes I forget for moments or days at a time, I become distracted by daily life, by the normal everyday of living.  And then something draws my attention back to the boxes and I am reminded that even when I am not paying attention, even when I am not actively pursuing this intent, words said in sacred space have power and the magick is continuing.

My Patron has been insistent that this is necessary if I am to take on the responsibility of completing my third degree initiation.  That it is required in order to find and use my power.  That it is non-negotiable if I am to truly know myself. I am not arguing this point but, it has been difficult and painful. 

I have been on a journey of self-discovery regarding my own identity, specifically my sexual identity.  This has resulted in many of the boxes being unlocked and the shamanic healing that I sought has also had a similar effect. The result has been particularly extreme in this past week.

I have been dreaming and remembering and it has robbed me of sleep and of peace in my waking life.  The lack of sleep and the images and emotions in my dreams have robbed me of my ability to shut down my emotions and of my shields against feeling too much.  I have even resorted to old behaviors out of desperation in an attempt to escape the return of feelings and thoughts that I have not had in decades.

Old ways of thinking have reared their heads.  The argument that it would be safer not to love, that it would be easier to remain strong and cold and hard, that allowing my heart to feel again is a mistake.  There is a very strong urging to walk away from anyone who threatens to touch me, to make me feel.  That trusting anyone who could abandon me, or take something from me, is a foolish risk not to be considered.  The desire to hurt those I do love in order to drive them away from me is incredibly intense as well.

My heart feels like it has been frozen and the thaw and return of feeling are as painful as frostbitten limbs being flushed with blood again.  It has also been violent in its awakening.  And the fact that others have witnessed my convulsions has been humiliating. 

The pain in my heart remains and I do not know for certain that it will ever really go away now.  Perhaps this is what it feels like to be alive.  I do not really know but, I will not abandon my intent.  I will do whatever is necessary to live, and to love, and to feel.  I will not turn back, no matter what may come.  So Mote It Be.

Hephzibah House Remembered...

I unlocked the dusty cobweb covered box and opened it wide, and found…empathy.

I also found memories of a place that I visited once about twenty-seven years ago.  The visual and olfactory memory of a place where girls, who have committed no crime other than to be born into families where their spirits are abhorred, are held in captivity and no one has yet been able to free them.  My heart becomes filled with rage when I think of them.  I have remembered them off and on over the past years.  But, as is often the case when our life is not directly impacted, I put it aside because, after all, it is not mine.  But if it is not mine then, Whose is it?  Are they not my daughters, sisters, granddaughters?  Do they not belong to the God and the Goddess simply because they exist? 

They belong to me because, I remember them. 

It matters not that they and their families live within a culture of fear.  They are not lost.  They are not forgotten.  I call upon Kali to see them, to hear the unvoiced cries they dare not make  even within their own minds, hearts and souls. I call upon every Goddess and God with whom I have relationship. I call upon every daughter and son of the Goddess and the God.

My patroness Arianrhod is a Goddess of Sovereignty and she has given me a fire in my heart to act against this prison, in whatever way I can, to bring freedom to these, her daughters.  I will work every day until Hephzibah House is no more. 

“Do not turn away. Do not turn your hearts to stone.  Swing wide the doors of the prison-house and let in the bright light of day.  Let the truth be spoken aloud so that it cannot be ignored, let their pain be felt so that it cannot be forgotten, let not the children be kept unseen.  Do not let them remain invisible.  Shed tears for them, weep openly.  Do not let their spirits be murdered in silence.  Tear down the walls and break their chains.  Do not rest until this house and its jailers have been razed to the ground and turned to dust and ash.”

If you find within your heart a desire to work to free these girls, light a candle to whichever Goddess or God that you worship, and make prayers for the freedom of these children.  Leave a comment below if you wish.  Blessed be.

To the Survivors of Hephzibah House, may you find healing with your God or mine, may your stories be heard, may your efforts be victorious, may your lives be blessed, and may your spirits find joy and know their true worth.  Your strength and your courage inspire me.  Blessed be.

http://hephzibah-girls.blogspot.com/

Twrch Trwyth

My family totem is the Wild Boar.  I know what you are thinking, “Who would want a Boar as a totem animal?”  Not me, at least not at first.  In fact, it took me a long time to understand the great honor it is to have that creature as the Spirit of my bloodline.

In Welsh mythology the Boar is the gift of the Gods to humans.  It represents the Warrior Spirit.  In all of the stories, the fiercest animal of all is Twrch Trwyth, the Wild Boar.

It is not a predatory creature, but it is fierce and unyielding.  It is dangerous and wild, strong and unstoppable.  It is noble and brave. 

The Boar is not a creature that can be used other than as food.  The only way a Wild Boar serves mankind is through its death, to feed the tribe.  Hunting the Wild Boar can be fatal if the hunter is not also smart, skilled, careful, and lucky.  Many strong, brave men have died early deaths in the attempt to bring down the great creature.

The Boar is close to the Earth and has sharp tusks and cloven hooves.  It forages for food and is not easily domesticated.  If a domesticated sow is bred in captivity with a domesticated boar and then escapes captivity, the piglets she births will be wild, even in their physical appearance. 

I would have wished for a Wolf, or a Stag, or a Horse, or some other “Great Creature” as the Totem Spirit of my family but, I have come to understand and embrace the great and noble Spirit that is Twrch Trwyth.  His image is the tattoo I wear to honor my first degree initiation.  I wear a bronze amulet with his image to honor my clan.  He reminds me that I too am a warrior, brave and strong and noble, fierce and unyielding and unstoppable.

Hail Twrch Trwyth!  Hail the Wild Boar!

Secrets

Secrets are powerful things.  Some are wonderful, like the ones we shared with our closest and dearest friends or our siblings in childhood.  Or the ones we share with lovers, about our hopes and our dreams. Some are filled with magick we share with the Spirits and the Gods.

But the ones we do not share with anyone, those are the most powerful secrets of all.  Those are the secrets that can empower our greatest magick, or destroy us.

If we can find the keys and the courage to see them, to know them, they can teach us to know who we are and how to live all that we are.  They can help us to find our power and to learn to use that power. 

The ones we refuse to see, the ones we hide from, will keep us imprisoned in tombs that we will never escape.  They will keep us from the life we are here to live.  They will keep us invisible until we eventually fade away, leaving no trace that we were ever even here.  They will destroy our ability to live, to love or to create any magick at all. 

That idea is terrifying.  The only thing more frightening is the idea of actually acknowledging those secrets.  The things we don’t ever talk about.  The voices in our head that we have heard all our lives, and the words that they scream in the long dark night.  The images that we see in our mind’s eye that we want so desperately to forget.  The memories of things we have done and the things we have wished for with all of our being.  The desires of our inner selves that we could never dare to live.  The things that we are absolutely sure if anyone knew, they would forsake us forever.

But no matter what the shadows tell us, those secrets are ours and if we can reclaim them, they will not destroy us.  If we can brave our deepest fears and embrace our secrets, they can unlock our power to live our lives with magick we have never imagined, and to be happy beyond our deepest hopes. 

Find the Secrets you keep, and listen to the whispers of your soul.  Live.

on Releasing Power

Magick requires that all of our parts agree with our intent to use power.  But it also requires that our will is fully engaged.  The will to build power, the will to hold power and ultimately the will to release power, focused and with force towards our intent.

My mind might agree that a certain change is desirable.  My body might be able to participate in the magick and even to do the physical work that is necessary to accomplish that change.  My soul may agree that the change I seek is within its sense of purpose and integrity.  My spirit may see the benefit to my evolution and to the world.

But without my heart being moved beyond simple desire, to feel that it MUST be, the power will never be released with enough focus and intent to accomplish what I hope.

I have finally discovered what engages my will.  And this is the discovery that I have made, that my will is engaged by my Warrior’s Heart and that Heart is the Heart of the Mother. 

I believe that all of the worlds and every species (Human and Fae and all of the others) must be whole and well in order for the Universe to thrive, but species are made up of individuals.  The continued existence of individuals is essential to the evolution of each species. I have an uncompromising commitment to the sovereignty of the individual’s will as well as personal freedom, integrity and honor.  

Most of my work has been finding balance between light and darkness, between order and chaos, because both honor and freedom are required for integrity.

I have a strong need for autonomy, independence as well as for nurturing and caring for others.  I have compassion.  I value relationships. I value Life.  I value freedom. I value chaos.  I value TRUTH above all else.

The things that I hold sacred, that I value most, those are the things that engage my will.  Those situations that harm my loved ones, that raise my anger, that raise my fire, that move me, those are the keys to my power.  My greatest power is engaged by my greatest anger.

That is not to say that I must protect my loved ones from all of the pain life might bring to them.  To be honest, I do not believe that to be an ethical action.  I believe that the pain we experience teaches us and helps us to grow and evolve; and to keep our loved ones safe from that is to cheat them of life itself.

But to see my beloveds HARMED…that is another matter.  To see injustice done, enrages my Mother’s Heart and invokes the Warrior within me.  That is when Power will be released.

That is when I am at my most powerful.  When my Heart is filled to bursting.  

Invocation to The Dark Father

Recently my Patron had given me a vision of magick that he wished for me to cast.  I could not cast this spell indoors, it had to be done naked, in a wild place, under a sky filled with stars and a bright moon.  I could not cast it on my knees, or in supplication in any way.  He insisted that I stand and demand the magick.  I believe this was a lesson from Him, meant to teach me about my power and my strength.  Tomorrow is the second anniversary of this blog, I thought I would share this with you.  Thank you for walking with me on my journey.  

  

 Dark Father, My God of Long Night, Hear me!

 King of the Otherworld, My Lord of Storms, Hear me!

Wild Leader of the Hunt, God of the Whirlwind Hear me!

Heed my Call and Hear my Voice!

Arise my Glorious God and Harken to your Creature!

My Strong Father, My Lord of Raging Storms!  

Hear me now!

I am Your Daughter, Your Priestess, Your Witch!

Arise from your Throne in Annwfn!  

Heed the Call of Your Own!

My Wrath rises up within me!

My Anger burns and fills me with Flame,

With Heat that pours from my body 

in waves of Bright Power,

With Flames that Destroy all but my Will,

With Fire that Consumes and never wanes!

It Rises up within me until I am Fire Itself,

until I am Thy Burning Blade,

and naught can stand against Your Dragon Sword!

Arise my Dark Father and Heed Thy Warrior’s Will!

Under a Sacrifice Moon You Granted me Vision,

In the heat of the flames, You Gifted me Truth,

My Sacrifices have bought my Strength and Freedom,

Your Gifts have Sparked my Power, as You Desired,

I am Your Burning Flame!  I am Your Creature,

Hear my Call and Heed my Voice!

I am Your Creature, Your Daughter, Your Own! 

With Your Gifts and Your Visions in my Sight,

With Your Wild Spirit in my Soul,

With Your Burning Blade in my Heart,

And with all the Power and Strength 

that You demanded I find,

I claim the Desire You have placed within my Heart!

I am Your Creature, Your Daughter, Your Own!

Heed my Call and Hear my Words!

For they come from Your Own Heart!

By Moon and Stars and Fire and Night 

and Wild Magick!  So Mote It Be!

Quickening

There is a moment during pregnancy when the child inside the womb quickens.  When it stirs within and the mother can feel that the being inside is not only alive but a separate being from herself, a new and different creature.  I remember the moments when each of my children moved within me.  I remember the moments when they became real to me and not just ideas and faces I saw in my dreams.  The remnants of my past lives feel a bit like that to me, like separate beings but, alive and part of me. 

The Queen of the Abyss has been healed and I have come face to face with Another that was hiding behind her.  I understand that the Sorrow was meant to teach me compassion, and I believe that it has.  I continue to nurture that compassion by working with a Goddess of Compassion, by establishing a new relationship with White Tara, a Goddess with seven eyes; Who sees, offers protection, and blessings. 

But the real work ahead is to reconcile the immense Rage I hold within me.  I do believe that some of that Rage is a remnant of past lives. But some of it belongs to this life, and all of it belongs to me, all of it is mine to claim and to reconcile.  And the time has come to do just that.

You might ask “Why?”  Why not simply nurture compassion?  Why ever let the Rage out at all?

It has taken a great deal of my power to keep it hidden and contained for most of my life, power that I was meant to use for living.  In those moments when my guard was down and it has escaped, it has been destructive and out of control, hurting me and those around me.  And suppressed rage, unexpressed anger, is one of the most insidious causes of clinical depression, which I have battled for most of my life.

My Gods, my Ancestors and my Allies have been pushing me to open this place, to find what is hidden beneath and I have.  They will not let me rest until I have learned how to express the anger and how to do so safely.  If I am to serve my Community and my Coven, my Gods and my Ancestors, I cannot have a nuclear bomb hiding inside me waiting to explode and destroy those for whom I am responsible.

I have always been afraid of my power for fear that using it would result in “everyone ending up dead and bloody”.  I realize now that is because I associate my power with my rage.  I can learn to heal it, express it and control it without simply locking it away inside my body like some rotting corpse in a tomb.

So the Rage has quickened and I must as well if I am to learn to do this work.  May I do so with compassion and power, honor and grace, courage and conviction.  So Mote it Be.

the Queen of the Abyss and Past Life Work

In the past few months, two of my teachers have revealed to me impressions they had when they first met me (and ever since).  They are not wrong but, to be honest, it is a bit unsettling to be told that the secrets you thought you kept well hidden are not. 

After one of my teachers mentioned the Sorrow that I have carried through too many lives, (and the image she described was intimately familiar to me), I went searching with the intention to fully know it and release it.

http://storiesfromthecauldron.blogspot.com/2014/05/to-queen-of-abyss.html

http://journeysoftherunes.blogspot.com/2014/06/laguz-temple-of-sorrows-and-queen-of.html

Since then, I have journeyed to the Temple of Sorrows twice more.  When I first returned to the Queen I found her as I had left her, but weighed down with guilt and shame.  She showed me more of what her “sins” had been, and I spoke with her about the lifetimes we have spent in “penance” and that the time for forgiveness and peace had come.  That she had taught me compassion and that she could let go now.  The crack in the ceiling of the Temple widened and I embraced her and promised to return again and left her.

I returned once more with the intention of transforming her through the fire of sunlight into ashes that would rise as a Phoenix.  This was the image given to me by my teacher and it was my expectation and my hope.  I found the Queen in white, calm and almost smiling but when the ceiling opened fully and let in the light, it was moonlight and not sunshine.  Instead of a blaze of flame and ash, instead of the Phoenix rising, there was sparkling white light and a dove flew away into the starlit sky. 

I expected the Temple to be empty.  That the work was complete…but of course it is never that simple.  When I turned to leave, someone else stood before me, someone full of pain and rage and fear.  So the work continues, as it always will until I have finished with this life.

I have been chronicling my exploration into my sexual identity on another blog,

http://exploringthelookingglass.blogspot.com/

After reading one of my posts about a recent discovery, another of my teachers had commented that she had known that I harbored a vast amount of untapped anger.  The work  that I have ahead of me will not surprise her. 

Most people are blind.  Most people cannot see even a little past the glamours built over decades, let alone those built over lifetimes.  That is why it is so necessary to have teachers with vision and the courage to be honest about what they see, when you are ready to hear it.

I give thanks for wise teachers, for the Gods who have led me to them and for the Queen of the Abyss.  Blessed Be.

Propitiation and Petition

My strongest Magick is not operative but, rather relational, so that is how I work.

When something compels me to act, engages my will to actually use power, I go to my Gods and to my Ancestors and to my Allies.  I go to Those with Whom I have relationship. 

I make offerings to my Gods and to my Ancestors and to my Allies as a part of my daily practice, as a part of building and maintaining relationships.  Speaking to Them and listening to Them and spending time with Them is also part of that.  I rarely ask Them for specific gifts or blessings or “intervention”. 

They are not generally disposed to interfering in the world in that way, and it would be insulting to ask Them for what I should be doing through my own hard work.  But when I am moved (and there must always be a strong emotional compulsion for me to engage my will), I will commit Rites of Petition and Propitiation for Their intervention in my world and in the lives of those that are mine own, or in the life of one whose story has moved me so.  I do not ask Them to act in a situation but rather, for an individual.   

I believe that propitiation works, I believe that petition, made on the behalf of another, works.  And if my warrior’s heart is engaged (because that is what it takes for me to use power) if my will is compelled to act, I believe that They will hear me and will answer.

My offerings might be of my own food supply, spirits (alcohol) that I know They will enjoy, an act of service to my community, or perhaps my own blood.  Whatever is of value to them and to me (for if I do not value that which I give, They will never be moved to grant my petition) .  

My petitions will be for the highest purpose I can articulate.  I make an impassioned argument for the rightness of my request.  I argue for the need and for the benefit to the family or  to the community, and to Them and the work They wish to be done.  I get downright demanding, and when They make demands in return, I make the vows that They require, and then I live up to those vows.  

I have even been questioned during a Rite, about whether or not I would still want that which I was asking for, if it meant making a sacrifice (of something I desire, not something that would cause harm) .  I answered yes, and yet that vow was never required.  Sometimes they just want to test your commitment, your conviction., or to teach you.

Understand that Rites such as these are not to be undertaken lightly.  Intercession has a price.  If one is going to begin to make petition, one must be willing to pay the price requested.  I have never been denied, however propitiation is never only that which I have offered.  There is always a cost that is determined by Them.  

That being said, the price has always resulted in more understanding and growth for me and deepening of my relationship with Them.  They never stop teaching me.  And I give thanks.