Conversations with the Bone Mother

Last month I had the honor of aspecting the Goddess Hecate, as Bone Mother, for a joint Harvest Ritual with my coven and another of our Tradition.  Aspecting is a form of divine embodiment practiced by my Tradition. In the weeks leading up to the Ritual, and in the weeks since, Hecate Bone Mother and I have shared many conversations and She has impressed upon me Her desire that I share some of those conversations here. When that Lady “impresses upon you Her desire…”  well, I learned a long time ago not to argue with such “requests”.  I am going to comply eventually anyway. Life is easier if I dance to the Music the Gods are playing.  And I learn more effectively when I don’t waste time avoiding the lessons.  That being said, it is unusual to invoke Hecate in that aspect, especially at the first Harvest.  The Sun, while waning, is still strong. The light is still long. The Summer heat is at its greatest.  Green growth is abundant and full.  She was thrilled, to be invoked, and to have the pleasure of being in a body, even one with the limitations mine possesses, at this season, so full of Life.  The first thing she imparted to me was this;

“You have work to do Witch, get off your ass and get started.” 

She was referring to the spell I work to bless my grandchild. I had just learned that my second grandchild is expected in early December, but not having done any witchcraft to manifest the child, as I had before my first was conceived, I had not yet begun to work the spell.  Next was a discourse on the Magick of Bones. (Which of course would include a spell to manifest a child in Strength and Beauty among other blessings).  The importance of our bones, the strength of them, the way they are the vehicle by which we move in the world. 

“You need to move yours more.”

And She is right, to keep this body useful, and strong, I do need to move more.  Specifically, I need to dance, and often. 

“You are not yet ready for a nap in the Boneyard, you are not yet ready to be dust.  You have living to do, you have work to do, and you need to get to it.”

I get tired sometimes, like everyone else, I get weary.  The troubles of the day are more than sufficient, some days they are overly abundant. But I am indeed not dead yet, nor am I ready to turn to dust.  I still have living to do, I still have work to do, I still have loving to do.

“Every bone has its purpose. Some are for walking and climbing, some are for stitching with a needle, some are for embracing loved ones.  Just as every essential part of us has a use, none of them are without purpose.  None of our Bones are to be disowned. None of our essential selves are to be either.”

Those parts of ourselves that we despise, that we desire to abandon, are in fact necessary.  They are our very Bones.  They are the structure that helps us stand and move and they are the parts of us that will remain longer than any other.  They are quintessentially us. Even more than our Blood, which will turn to dust in the blink of an eye.  The Ritual was about the Sacrifice of the Harvest.  She wanted those present to offer to Her their Bones.  To offer a part of themselves, to release something of themselves that She could then give back to them as a new thing, as a magickal tool to help them grow, to be used upon their journey in the future.  Now, in aspecting a Goddess for a group ritual, especially such a One as She, I would have expected Her to express Herself with some solemnity, some mystery, some poetry even but, that is not what She chose to do.  Rather, She used my repertoire of swear words, such as it is, (evidently, I need to expand my vocabulary a bit) and She spoke quite bluntly, no pulling punches, no dancing around things.  Truth be told, I spent a few days afterward worrying about it. And the conversations continued.

“…and why is it any concern of yours?  I choose what words and what manner of speech will serve me in the moment, and it is not your worry how I choose to present myself.  You only need to be strong and flexible and to keep your heart open so that I may touch those who need Me to in they way that they need Me to.” 

It took a few days but, I thought about how she received each person’s sacrifice. How She did so with such compassion, and respect and reverence.  She truly valued each Bone She was offered.  And She gave to each person love, blessing and magick in turn.  And that was my hope as a priestess in that Ritual, to serve Her well, so that She could bless those present.  Once I was able to let go of my worries over how my service to Her was perceived by others, She pointed out that I had yet to make my own sacrifice to Her.  Indeed, I had not been able to choose. (Sometimes the immediacy of Ritual can help force us to choose, and in that moment, we discover what we need most.)  I had time, too much time perhaps.  I thought about what I remembered of the sacrifices She had been offered by others, many were surprisingly repeated over and over again.  So many human Bones are shared among us.  But I eventually discovered what my sacrifice was supposed to be.  I was discussing with her my worries about becoming an old woman, especially my concerns regarding my eventual loss of vision, and the fact that many things that I had hoped for in this lifetime were no longer possible.  I decided to offer to her those hopes, the hopes of a young woman for blessing that life can hold for a young woman and that eventually become the safety and blessings of an old woman.  And then She did the most magickal thing.

“You do not need to give up this thing.”

She was correct.  I had lumped one thing into that sacrifice that was not “something that is no longer possible”.  And so, She gave it back to me.  It is not ‘a thing that will happen” but it is “a thing that can happen” if I choose to make it so.  I have a blessed life, and it is good to know that if I choose, I still have time to manifest a dream from my youth.  I can make that a part of my life as an “old woman”.  Hecate Bone Mother is now Someone with whom I have relationship.  She even chose a gift from among my possessions.  A necklace of black and amber beads with a fossil of a nautilus shell that was given to me by one of my Elders at my third degree initiation.  Although I liked it very much, I had never worn it, nor had I given it away, I did not know why.  But almost two years later, it was still among my things. She chose it immediately upon being asked if she would like a gift from me. I suspect we will have many more conversations in the future, and some She may wish for me to share with those who choose to read this blog.  In the meantime, I am not dead yet, I am not ready to turn to dust nor to take a nap in the Boneyard.  I have work to do and I need to be busy about getting to it. Blessings from the Bone Mother.  Blessed Be.

The Garden Forge; a visit to Brighid

You are standing in a clearing on a hill, surrounded by woods.

Before you stands a stone tower, the surface half-covered with moss.

There are ancient symbols carved into the stones and as you try to decipher them you notice a rough wooden door, dark with age.

You pull on the latch and slowly, the door opens enough to allow you to enter.

Inside it is quiet. Light filters in from windows high above and the air smells of wood smoke and blackberries. The floor is smooth and worn.  There is a stair to your left spiraling upward and to your right leading down.

You turn to your left and begin to ascend the stair.  The stone steps are even and smooth and easy to climb.  The light and air are warm and fragrant.  You can see glimpses of blue sky through the high narrow windows above you and you climb step by step up and around and up and up and up and around.  You can no longer see the door but you keep climbing wondering when you will reach the top.  Just as you are considering turning back you come to another door. 

The stair continues to spiral even further upward and you consider continuing your ascent but you notice a hammer hanging by the door. 

The door is a warm golden wood finely carved with intricate spirals and graceful symbols.  You test the latch and the door opens smoothly and easily outward into an orchard, filled with the sunshine of a bright summer day.  There is a path through the trees in front of you lined with blackberry bushes full of ripe black sweet berries.

You hear the sound of a hammer striking an anvil in a regular rhythm and you follow the orchard path to the source of the sound.   The trees are large and in full leaf and you cannot see beyond the ones immediately surrounding you. But you keep following the sound until just when you begin to think that the sound is actually your own heartbeat you step out from the next tree and find a roofed structure with no walls. 

Beneath the roof is a Forge.  The coals are glowing and a woman stands at the anvil beating the metal she is working, with the hammer in her hand. She is tall with a strong body and a presence that is even larger.  She seems to take up all the space within the forge.  Her short red hair, her entire body, seem to glow with flame. 

She plunges the piece into the basin of water beside her and the steam rises.  She then looks at you with bright hazel eyes and smiles a warm and welcoming smile, wiping sweat from her brow with her forearm.

This is Brighid, the Goddess of Smiths, the Mother of Midwives, and the Muse of Poets.  Warrior, Healer and Fiery Arrow.  Go to her and she will transform you, speak with her and she will heal you, listen to her and she will inspire you. 

When you feel it is time to go, thank the Lady and take your leave of Her.  Follow the path through the orchard back to the tower. The door stands open and you enter and descend the stair then pass through the open door to the place where you began.

Freyja-Vanadis; a new relationship...

Twenty-one years ago, when I began this journey and began meeting the Gods and building relationships with them, I learned the story of Freyja-Vanadis, the Vanir Goddess of love, sex, beauty, war, death and magick who lived with the Aesir and learned the Runes from Odin and in return taught Seidr to the All-Father.  At that time, and for years after, I made petition to Her to work with me, but the Lady was silent. 

I have always believed that She heard me and that Her silence was Her answer…I was not ready.  It was not that I was unsuitable, or that I was unworthy…I was simply not ready to learn the lessons that she would teach me.  I had work to do, other lessons to learn, skills to develop, before I could understand or effectively practice the magick that she had to teach me.

I attended the Conjure Dance at Sacred Space/Between the Worlds Conference a couple of weeks ago and, this year I was successful in opening enough to enter trance and converse with the Gods.

I spoke with and heard the voices of Beloved Deities with whom I have had relationships for years.  It was profoundly moving and I am grateful that the work that I have done in this past year was successful.  It was something that I have spent a great deal of energy and focus on and it meant a great deal to me to discover that I am indeed capable of opening enough, and to do so in the presence of other human beings.

But the most surprising voice was that  of the Lady.   Freyja-Vanadis spoke to me.  And what She said to me was this,

“Now, you are ready”.

And so I am once again building  a new relationship with the Goddess.  She has already brought many new experiences and insights, new friendships and new perspectives, a new understanding of my Self and of my work in the world, and of my service to others, and of the nature of love.  And I see more clearly what I have now that I did not have then.  

I am both honored and filled with hope to begin the work that She and I will do together…to begin the work that She would teach me.  I am also filled with the joy I find in knowing Her.

Hail Freyja-Vanadis, Lady of Light, Beauty, Fire, Passion, Joy, Magick and Love! Hail and Welcome!

Arianrhod; a journey to the Temple of the Moon

I am a daughter of Arianrhod.  I have not written a great deal about my Patroness.  I have made reference to Herself many times and the ways in which She has led me on my journey.  It is my intention to write more about my own experience of Herself but, She will be known to those She calls on Her own terms and so first I will offer this journey. 

This is a journey to the Temple of the Moon, a place to meet with Her face to face.  I wrote this journey a few years ago, it was a gift given to me by the Lady Herself as a means of guiding others to a place where they could meet with Her.  Blessed Journey.

 You are standing beside a lake, a soft mist is rising from its glassy surface.  The moon overhead is full and bright in a deep sky, filled with stars.

Before you on the bank is a small white boat tied to stone moorings.  There are ancient symbols and graceful spirals etched into the stones. You climb into the boat and sit and it moves, out into the lake. 

The surface of the lake appears undisturbed as the boat carries you farther and farther from the shore.  You try to see into the dark water but, the still surface only reflects the moon and the stars in the dark sky overhead.  The mist that rises from the water surrounds the boat and you can no longer see the shore, indeed you can see nothing in any direction but the sky above, the water below and the mist all around you.  You are engulfed in dark water, and dark sky and mist, silver in the moonlight.  Surrounded by millions of stars.

You smell only clean water and hear only the soft lapping against the sides of the boat as it continues to carry you, you know not where.  Just as you begin to despair that you will be lost in the mists forever, the mist clears and you see an island.  It is heavily forested with tall ancient trees.  The boat comes to rest and as you step out onto the stone moorings you notice the same symbols and spirals etched into their surfaces.

A stone stair leads up into the woods from the landing and you begin to climb.  The moonlight through the trees is bright and illuminates the stair as you climb up and up through the trees, their branches whispering in the soft breeze.  You notice an owl gliding silently above you and you watch her for a moment. 

When you bring your focus back to the stair you have reached the top and before you is a circular structure.  Tall graceful arches surround a stone floor.  The bright Moon and starry sky illuminate the arches and the floor and they shine silver in the moon-bright night.

At the archway before you is a silver basin of water and a small silver bell.  You purify yourself with these and enter the Temple of the Moon.  The Temple is filled with Moonlight and a woman stands before you.  Her hair and skin are shining silver and she seems clothed in moonlight.  She holds a silver wheel sparkling with stars in her hands.

This is Arianrhod, Lady of the moon and stars, Keeper of the silver wheel, Goddess of Fate.  She greets you and you speak with her.  Ask what questions you will.  You may dance in celebration if you wish.

When you feel it is time to go, Thank the Lady and take your leave of Her and descend the stair, the boat will take you back to the place that you began.

Water

Water is the element most essential to Life. 

Without Water the Earth itself would be unable to support life.  In fact the Earth is covered in the element, and our bodies are more water than any other thing. 

Water is the Ocean and the Tides and the Moon that moves them.

It is the waves and the currents and the depths where life continues unobserved.

It is the lake and the mist rising from the surface and the fog that clings to the open places between the woodlands and to the road we walk in the evening’s twilight.

It is the stream in the woods where birds and creatures gather to drink of its life-giving. And the rain that falls upon the fields.

It is the river always flowing to the sea, carving the earth and moving everything that stands before it.

It is the fluid in which all life gestates and which flows when each life begins, whether from womb or egg or chrysalis.

It is that which we use to wash our bodies and the dishes and the laundry and the floors and the windows.

It is the silver chalice upon the western altar and the Cauldron at the center of the Wheel and the blessed water used to purify, and the wine that we share in the name of the Goddess, and the Holy Well that heals us.

Water is the semen that carries the seed and that which flows to welcome it.

It is the sweat on our skin and the tears of our heart and the dreams in our sleep.

It is the grief and desire and joy that fill our lives and the love that powers our greatest magick.

Hephzibah House Remembered...

I unlocked the dusty cobweb covered box and opened it wide, and found…empathy.

I also found memories of a place that I visited once about twenty-seven years ago.  The visual and olfactory memory of a place where girls, who have committed no crime other than to be born into families where their spirits are abhorred, are held in captivity and no one has yet been able to free them.  My heart becomes filled with rage when I think of them.  I have remembered them off and on over the past years.  But, as is often the case when our life is not directly impacted, I put it aside because, after all, it is not mine.  But if it is not mine then, Whose is it?  Are they not my daughters, sisters, granddaughters?  Do they not belong to the God and the Goddess simply because they exist? 

They belong to me because, I remember them. 

It matters not that they and their families live within a culture of fear.  They are not lost.  They are not forgotten.  I call upon Kali to see them, to hear the unvoiced cries they dare not make  even within their own minds, hearts and souls. I call upon every Goddess and God with whom I have relationship. I call upon every daughter and son of the Goddess and the God.

My patroness Arianrhod is a Goddess of Sovereignty and she has given me a fire in my heart to act against this prison, in whatever way I can, to bring freedom to these, her daughters.  I will work every day until Hephzibah House is no more. 

“Do not turn away. Do not turn your hearts to stone.  Swing wide the doors of the prison-house and let in the bright light of day.  Let the truth be spoken aloud so that it cannot be ignored, let their pain be felt so that it cannot be forgotten, let not the children be kept unseen.  Do not let them remain invisible.  Shed tears for them, weep openly.  Do not let their spirits be murdered in silence.  Tear down the walls and break their chains.  Do not rest until this house and its jailers have been razed to the ground and turned to dust and ash.”

If you find within your heart a desire to work to free these girls, light a candle to whichever Goddess or God that you worship, and make prayers for the freedom of these children.  Leave a comment below if you wish.  Blessed be.

To the Survivors of Hephzibah House, may you find healing with your God or mine, may your stories be heard, may your efforts be victorious, may your lives be blessed, and may your spirits find joy and know their true worth.  Your strength and your courage inspire me.  Blessed be.

http://hephzibah-girls.blogspot.com/

Lunae Memoriae

Moon by Helen Jarvis Reynolds

My Lady sails through silver sky,

Her pale skin, a shade of light,

She glows in brilliant radiance, my lover faire.

With gentle grace she wanders through the night,

Her gossamer gown flows ‘round about her feet,

Her footsteps leaving stardust in her path.

She sings with laughter, starlight song,

Her voice, a gentle shining mist,

Whispering the mystery.

Her soft touch, cool as evening aire,

Her kisses shimmer on my skin,

Gifts of music, soft and sweet. 

Dancing through eternity,

My lover faire,

My Lady of sweet memory.

Giving...

It is easy to go about our daily lives working, studying and spending time with our family and friends.  It is easy to find ways to spend our money, our time, and our energy pursuing those things, subjects and experiences that bring us joy and deepen our purpose.  It is easy to become absorbed in our work, our spells, our offerings, our rituals and practice.

It is easy and it is human.  But it is also an easy thing to look up from our altars, from our books, from our work.  To look up from our supper and our household chores.  To look up from our beloved pets and the faces of our children, and to see.

We don’t have to look far; we don’t have to seek for long.  Because the family next door needs help feeding their children and the old lady across the street needs help shoveling the sidewalk so she can walk to the drugstore, and the animal shelter down the street has cats to feed, and cat food costs money (and so does the heat and the lights).  And the stray only needs a bit of food and some water every day and a box with a blanket to get out of the wind.

It’s easy to think I don’t have enough. To look at the bank balance and know that I need to save more but, I can shovel the sidewalk for my landlady, simply because I am healthy and at 88 years old, she shouldn’t have to. 

I can put aside a few cans of food from my pantry or from the grocery shopping, and drop it at the local food bank.  I can donate a bag of cat food, or even a Saturday afternoon to work cleaning the place, and help out the shelter a little bit (a small gift considering how great a gift my Pwca is to my life). 

I can give blood to the Red Cross, I can pitch-in at the river cleanup day, I can donate the clothes that I no longer wear to the thrift-shop that supports my local woman’s shelter (because yes, there are women in my community who need a safe place for themselves and their children).   I can give the books I have already read to my local library.  I can dedicate my massage table to one of the Goddesses who has blessed my life, by giving the money I earn with it to my Tradition’s New Alexandrian Library Project.

I have been blessed with a beautiful life and a wonder-filled path and I can give a lot, if I simply look up and notice.  It will not mean less for me or those I love, not really.  I can share what I have without harming my life.  And if I can give nothing else, I can go to the park and sing for the Fae because it will make my world a better place.

Giving is a practice in gratitude for the life I have and an act of magick.  It shows the universe that abundance is well invested in my life…I share.

Gwydion, Wise Father

Gwydion is one of the Gods with whom I have a long and blessed relationship.  His stories can be found in “Math ap Mathonwy” the fourth book of the Mabinogion.  He is the nephew of King Math and the brother of Arianrhod, my Patroness.  He is a shape-shifter and “trickster”.  He is eloquent with illusion and persuasion and gifted in magick.   He is the quintessential wizard or magician and some consider him the basis for Merlin of the Arthurian sagas.

My experience of Gwydion is as a kind and loving Father.  A Father of light, magick and healing.  He is an advocate, teacher and guide and as nurturing as He is wise.

 

He didn’t start out that way though.  In the first stories about him he uses his magick to commit fraud to start a war in order to facilitate the rape of a young woman.  His duplicity and culpability are discovered by his uncle, who not only compensates the young woman as best he can but, punishes Gwydion and the rapist by transforming them into animals, a series of three mating pairs, for the following 3 years they take turns being male and female and baring offspring. 

After this experience Gwydion’s character is that of the Father that I know and love.  He takes up the newborn and un-formed son of his sister, using his magick in raising him, caring for him, advocating for him, guiding and teaching and eventually healing him. 

With his uncle, he uses magick to manifest the Goddess of Sovereignty as the Flower Bride and, with his magick She transforms into an Owl (Her Crone form).  

He is an example of how a magick-worker grows in the use of magick from unethical behavior in service to the base desires of an immature and selfish person, to the service of their own loved ones, to the service of the Goddess (the land) and the community.

 He is an example to me and an ally and I am grateful for his presence in my life.

“Gwydion, Father and Mage,

Healer, Teacher and Guide,

Wise One be here, Wise One be here!”

Remembering the Maiden

Dancing Maiden by Katarina Silva

This past weekend I met a radiant young woman who has a beautifully open heart.  We encountered each other a few times and engaged in pleasant and polite conversations about art and other things, and about not limiting ourselves with language (this lesson I have learned from one of my teachers and  in turn try to pass it along to others).  I saw her dance and smile and each time I was filled with joy at being witness to her first steps upon a path that I have loved for many years now.

It brings great light to my heart to hope that I will be walking this path with her and that thought inspires me to remember that the Maiden lives within me as well, even as I take my first steps into my life as a Crone. 

On the last evening of the weekend I found myself engaged again in conversation with this Bright Child and as will sometimes happen, the conversation went somewhere that I did not expect and rather than politely restraining myself, I dove in head first and followed where my heart and mind led. 

It was a wonderful feeling but after, I felt as though I should be embarrassed that I had been “too loud” and “too big” in expressing my thoughts and in engaging so enthusiastically and completely.  Indeed I was surprised at my behavior.

The next morning I was given the gift of hearing the perceptions that some in my community have of me, specifically that I am never loud or big and while I was not criticized for my unusual behavior it was remarked upon for its rarity.

I learned a few things from this experience.  First was recognition of the feeling that I should be ashamed for being “too loud or too big”.  (One of my teachers will be very pleased to know that I am no longer going to unconsciously accept that premise.)  It is not cause for shame to be engaged fully and enthusiastically with others.

Another lesson I have learned from this experience is that the Maiden is alive and well within me.  My sisters on this path embody the Maiden even as they welcome me into the Sisterhood of the Crone.  They are full of life and joy and adventure and I am grateful for their companionship and guidance.

I give thanks for the Maiden Encountered and for the Maiden Remembered and for the Maiden Reborn within me.

Star Navigation

My Patroness is a Star Goddess, a Goddess of Fate and Destiny.  She is The Keeper of the Silver Wheel of Stars.  I had always avoided the study of Astrology because of its complexity, but during the work of my first degree, it finally occurred to me that Arianrhod might have lessons for me and that there might be clues to those lessons in my natal chart.

And so I began to study the basics of the language and began learning my chart.  I have been learning about myself through this endeavor for four and a half years and I am still a novice.  I suspect that I will be a novice at this art for the rest of my life.

 

Fortunately I have an Elder, Priest and Friend who is an adept at this stellar language and at interpreting it and helping me to navigate through the currents of my life, through the currents of energy that affect me, through the lessons, and through the opportunities.  He also helps me to learn the language a little better and therefore to understand myself a little bit better.

I went to see my Elder the day after my second degree initiation.  He read the star charts for the coming year and helped me to plot a course.  He told me what to pay attention to and what to look out for and what opportunities would present themselves for me to accomplish the work that I needed and wanted to accomplish this year.

Seven months have passed and they have been full of lessons and growth and transformation.  And all of it has been easier to navigate and been more productive because I have not been fighting against but, rather working with and accommodating the energy currents affecting me. 

Monday is my birthday and I am taking 9 days off of work (required vacation time).  I am taking the time now, because my birthday is a time when I evaluate and make plans and because my body has settled into the changes from the initiation and I can begin to make long term plans.  But mostly because the currents affecting me right now make me more likely to light something or someone on fire, myself or someone I love.  It seemed prudent to take time away from any external source of pressure. 

Because of my current energetic predisposition, my Elder advised me to take particular care of my body, and I am following his advice.  I am getting plenty of sleep, more than I normally would (and I regularly get eight hours a night).  I am paying close attention to my blood sugar and being more disciplined and thoughtful about eating regularly and better than I normally do.  I am drinking less coffee everyday (and if I have never mentioned it, coffee is my favorite vice of all time). And I am avoiding alcohol for now as well (although I drink very seldom, at times like these it is best to not drink at all).

My point in all of this is that, it helps.  This past Saturday evening I had a small storm of self-doubt.  It was not fun but it was short lived because I was aware of the external energy possibly affecting my emotional state and because my body was well grounded thanks to the advice I was given.  Last night when I turned out the lights to go to sleep, I was bombarded by anger and the desire to set fire (verbally) to someone I love.  It was painful and lasted about an hour but, it did not last longer than that and I did not act on the impulse because “if it is important enough, it will wait”.  I recognized the affects of the energy again and let it go.  It was easier to do that having been given fair warning and having taken good care of my body.

In the next few months I will have a great deal of work to do regarding my initiation and I have worked very hard to be ready to face all of the lessons about to visit themselves upon me.  I will face them when they come but before that, I have an opportunity to create changes in the structure of my daily life that will be lasting.

So I will, with purpose, change the way that I eat, the amount of coffee I drink, and I will rid myself of a life-long addiction.  (My coming grandchild gives me the reason and the coming transit will give me the assistance I need to give up my smoking habit).  I will replace that habit with a new one, yoga. I will strengthen my daily practice by restructuring my daily and weekly routine. 

I have a vision for my future and I will do the work I need to do to allow it to happen.  It helps to have the stars and a really good navigator to help chart the course.  Blessings upon my Elder, Priest and Friend, Ivo Dominguez Jr.  

My Goddesses

painting by Susan Seddon Boulet

I had a conversation last week with a friend and Tradition-mate.  She is a lovely woman whom I enjoy and she is working on a project, a book about the Goddess.  The conversation was about my Patroness, Arianrhod.  She asked me some truly thought provoking questions about the impact of the Goddess on my life and my work. 

The conversation has had the Goddesses foremost in my thoughts this week.  And since my last post was about my love for the God, and since today is the one year anniversary of this blog, and because yesterday I was a part of the First Degree Initiation of a woman and coven-mate whom I love and who teaches me always about what it means to be a woman and to walk this path, I feel the desire to write about the many amazing Goddesses that I know and love.

The women in my life are goddesses, priestesses, mothers, sisters, daughters and friends.   The member of my family who I most wish to emulate is my Nana, my great-grandmother who never owned her own home, taught piano and was disowned by her own mother for marrying a musician.  She married for love; she loved us all with a generous heart and a warm and gentle spirit.  She was creative and beautiful and though she passed when I was only eight years old, I can remember her like she was with me only yesterday.  She is not the one I most take after but she is the one I want to be when I grow up, and I have since I was small.

My daughter and my nieces are beautiful, intelligent and talented young women.  They are passionate and curious and powerful.  They inspire me.  Nurturing them, guiding them and loving them is part of my purpose in this life. But, I also learn from them.   Living as an example for them has kept me on my path when it would have been easier to give up, to give in and settle for some half-life without power or joy.  I will not do that, for they might someday follow my example.

My daughter has another mother, the one who raised her, and to me she is the goddess as well.  She is nurturing and loving, she is accepting and forgiving, and she is generous in her willingness to share our daughter freely with me.  We are equally anticipating the birth of our daughter’s first child with great joy.  We are expecting the child to be a girl yet we will both welcome and cherish a grandson with equal love and happiness.  I have often said that if I were to have chosen a mother for my child, I would have chosen her.  It would have been a tragedy if she had not been a mother.  And I give thanks that I was granted the gift of knowing my daughter as an adult, and that I was granted a wonderful sister in the bargain.

My own mother is a good woman.  She loves her family and they love her. She is not without her shadows and being her only daughter, I am probably more conscious of them than others are but, what I know is that she wants the best for those she loves and we will all behave in ways that will make her happy simply because we desire her happiness.  She strives to love the way her God would want her to and she is genuine in her desire to do right.   I remember once as a child, we were home alone and young woman was walking past the house obviously distraught.  My mother went to speak with her in the street and brought her inside and made tea and let the girl cry at our kitchen table until she was ready to go home.  She never knew the woman and I cannot remember anything more about the incident but, I remember my mother’s hospitality.  My mother’s rule is an open door and food (or a bed if that is needed) for anyone who might need it.  Not for recognition or reciprocation, but just because it is right.

The women in my coven are beloved to me.  They are daughters and sisters and they show me always the amazing beauty and variety of Her many faces.  My High Priestess is my friend, my sister and my mentor.  I trust her more than any other human being I know.  The priestesses and witches of my tradition and those others that I count among my beloveds are each my daughters and sisters and teachers, and some are even my mothers.  I give thanks for each of them.  Without them I am less and my world is less colorful, less bright, less beautiful.

I have loved the Goddess since I was a small child, the Goddesses I read about in the stories of Ruth and Ester from the Old Testament, the story of Demeter and Persephone from my storybooks, the stories of queens and princesses and faeries.  I still have the baby-doll I was given before I was two years old; I have always been a mother.  I remember meeting Grandmother Spider when I was nine or ten on an overnight trip with the Girl-Scouts.  I remember meeting Artemis-Diana when I was about fifteen and writing poems to her to express my love for her.  And twenty years ago I met the Goddess who would become my Patroness, Arianrhod, my Goddess of the Moon and the Stars, my Queen and the Weaver of my Fate and Destiny, my Goddess of Sovereignty.

I have read the stories of many Goddesses since then and met and worked with some of them.  Bloudwydd the Flower-Bride and Owl-Goddess, Rhiannon, the Faerie-Bride, Horse-Goddess, Great Queen and Mother, Cerridwen the Initiator, Shape-Shifter and Mother, Gwynwfar and Morganna, Brighid, Goddess of poets, healers and smiths and the Patroness of my beloved Moonfire, and Kali-Ma, the Dark Mother and destroyer who will cull from my life that which is unhealthy for me so that new life may take hold and I may grow strong and new.

All of these Goddesses teach me and they are each welcome in my life at anytime they choose. 

I Give thanks for each one of these, my Goddesses, the Human ones and the Non-Human.  May I serve them with love, honor and grace and may they bless me with their wisdom, guidance and council.  Blessed Be.