In Perfect Love and Perfect Trust

As we enter into ritual space as a Coven, each of us says aloud, “I enter this Circle in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust”. 

 At a Ritual a few months ago, I was asked by one of our guests why we say those words.   He was concerned that, if it was a requirement of entering Ritual with the Coven, he was not capable of meeting such a standard. 

 I reassured him that it was not a requirement, but rather an intention, an ideal to which we aspire, and that none of us are perfect in our practice of that ideal.  

If we cannot achieve such perfection, why would we use those words?  Because words have power, and stating our ideals, our intentions, helps us to remember our common goal, our aspirations, and our commitment to each other to continue to “practice” Perfect Love and Perfect Trust with each other, and with ourselves. 

While none of us can achieve Perfect Love and Perfect Trust all the time, there is magick in ritual, when we can reach beyond our limitations, and achieve for a moment, something beyond our own abilities.  Each time we reach beyond ourselves and achieve, if only for a moment, a glimpse of our ideal, we expand our own capacity for the practice of that to which we aspire.  We “practice” Perfect Love and Perfect Trust.  It is not just a quaint twist of language but a Truth that we “practice”.

We, as a Coven, have committed to “practicing” Perfect Love and Perfect Trust with each other.  It is an ideal that we have explored as a group and as individuals.  We have shared with each other what that ideal looks like, and discussed how we manifest that ideal, with Coven, with Community, with our loved ones and with ourselves.  We have all grown and learned and expanded our understanding of what those words mean, and how to put such ideals into practice in ritual and in our lives.

There is inherent risk in such work.  Just as we cannot achieve perfection in our practice, we are also, in our humanity, not ascended beings. We all have secrets; we all have shadows.  We will each, at some time or another, let another down in some way and we will all be let down by someone we love and trust.  This is a truth of human experience, Family, Friends, Lovers, Coven and Community.  So, what does it mean to practice “Perfect Love and Perfect Trust” in the light of such Truth?  Or do we give up such a lofty ideal in the attempt to avoid the pain that results from the inevitable?

It is my belief that the bonds of emotional intimacy that are forged by such work, and the vulnerability that is inherent in those bonds, hold the potential for greater magick and transformation. The opportunity to learn and to practice forgiveness, resilience, strength, courage, knowledge, wisdom and power with ourselves and with one-another is worth the risks of personal pain, from someone we love failing us, and from us failing someone we love.

Love is worth the risk of failure, and the risk of pain.  Love is worth vulnerability.  Love is great Magick.  Love is the Magick that can re-enchant the world. Love is the magick that can heal our world and ourselves. Perfect Love and Perfect Trust are ideals worth aspiring to and worth practicing.

May you be blessed with both.  Blessed Be!

Knowledge, Wisdom and Gnosis; the faces of Truth

Knowledge is the first face of Truth.  It is information, facts, academic and utilitarian.  It is a beginning, but only the beginning. 

Wisdom is the second face of Truth.  It is Knowledge applied to life.  It is theoretical but useful.  It is necessary if one is to actually benefit from Knowledge.

Gnosis is the third face of Truth. It is Wisdom experienced.  Having applied Knowledge to life, and having experienced the Truth of that Wisdom, we achieve the understanding of Gnosis, Truth through Experience.

Acquire Knowledge, for it is valuable.  Learn Wisdom for it too is valuable.  But to achieve Gnosis is to understand the Mystery of Truth. This is the purpose of Life.  

Words and Whispers

Words have power.  Spoken aloud, they carry our power and focus it with our intent and release it into the world.  Spell-craft is often accomplished with words directing the energies that have been gathered from physical sources, from spirits who have been invoked with language.  Spoken words help us to refine and express our intent, and to keep our selves focused upon that intent. 

I believe in speaking aloud.  I believe in invoking my Gods, Ancestors and Spirits with song, and expressing my devotion with my voice.  I believe that words spoken in sacred space act upon us until the stated intent has come to pass. 

But I also believe in the power of whispers.  Words spoken aloud have power and whispers have power.  Whispering to the herbs we use in spell-craft, to stones, to magickal objects, to tools, enchants them with our personal magick.  Whispering is an intimate form of expression.  It is like telling a close and trusted friend our deepest secrets and asking them to keep those secrets and to help us to accomplish our desires.

Whispering our spells in the moments of our daily life can be a powerful way of keeping the magick in our consciousness, of keeping our intent in focus, and of helping us to act in accord.

Whispering is magick.

Remembering the Maiden

Dancing Maiden by Katarina Silva

This past weekend I met a radiant young woman who has a beautifully open heart.  We encountered each other a few times and engaged in pleasant and polite conversations about art and other things, and about not limiting ourselves with language (this lesson I have learned from one of my teachers and  in turn try to pass it along to others).  I saw her dance and smile and each time I was filled with joy at being witness to her first steps upon a path that I have loved for many years now.

It brings great light to my heart to hope that I will be walking this path with her and that thought inspires me to remember that the Maiden lives within me as well, even as I take my first steps into my life as a Crone. 

On the last evening of the weekend I found myself engaged again in conversation with this Bright Child and as will sometimes happen, the conversation went somewhere that I did not expect and rather than politely restraining myself, I dove in head first and followed where my heart and mind led. 

It was a wonderful feeling but after, I felt as though I should be embarrassed that I had been “too loud” and “too big” in expressing my thoughts and in engaging so enthusiastically and completely.  Indeed I was surprised at my behavior.

The next morning I was given the gift of hearing the perceptions that some in my community have of me, specifically that I am never loud or big and while I was not criticized for my unusual behavior it was remarked upon for its rarity.

I learned a few things from this experience.  First was recognition of the feeling that I should be ashamed for being “too loud or too big”.  (One of my teachers will be very pleased to know that I am no longer going to unconsciously accept that premise.)  It is not cause for shame to be engaged fully and enthusiastically with others.

Another lesson I have learned from this experience is that the Maiden is alive and well within me.  My sisters on this path embody the Maiden even as they welcome me into the Sisterhood of the Crone.  They are full of life and joy and adventure and I am grateful for their companionship and guidance.

I give thanks for the Maiden Encountered and for the Maiden Remembered and for the Maiden Reborn within me.

Clarity, Courage and Compassion

Years ago, I had been encouraged to develop a personal motto, a concise phrase that expresses the rule by which one strives to live.  I have over the years spent a good bit of time (and I continue to do so) searching, refining and reevaluating those mottos (I have a few of them; they act as vows to those to whom I am accountable, including myself).

One of those that I have come to keep over time is Clarity, Courage and Compassion.  These three words express the principles I strive to keep hold of in my daily life.

Clarity.  I find that losing sight or focus of just what my purpose is, just where my path is leading, makes it impossible for me to effectively walk that path or fulfill that purpose. Clarity is a result of faithful examination, evaluation and evolution.  If I am not paying attention, I lose my way. 

Courage.  Without courage, I cannot move forward.  I cannot fulfill my purpose or walk this path in fear.  I can achieve nothing if I hide from my life and my work.  Courage is necessary if I am to put one foot in front of the other and indeed go anywhere at all.

Compassion.  I can become so focused on the path ahead, on the ground beneath my feet, on the impetus required to keep moving forward, that I fail to recognize the needs of those around me. Without compassion, my path is pointless.  Without compassion I have no purpose.

While there are other mottos, other vows, other words that guide my life, my work, my path; Clarity, Courage and Compassion are the most fundamental and the most essential to my daily practice.

Cauldrons

In Welsh tradition, that is, in the stories, there are three cauldrons. 

The first is of dubious nature (and ownership for that matter).  It is found in the story of Branwen the Daughter of Llyr in the second book of the Mabinogion.  In the story about an arranged marriage that goes bad and the war that results, the Cauldron in question changes hands and its magick brings back to life those dead warriors whose bodies are cast into it (although they no longer retain the capacity for language).  It does not surprise me that no hero seems to want to retain ownership of such a relic.

The other two, both of which I find much more appealing, are found in “the Book of Taliesin” and “the Spoils of Annwfn”.

The Cauldron of Cerridwen (also known as the Cauldron of Inspiration or Awen) imparts all knowledge and wisdom and is found in the story of Taliesin.  It is a story of initiation and the birth of the Greatest Bard of the Land.

The Cauldron of Annwfn is found in the poem “The Spoils of Annwfn” which recounts an expedition by Arthur (yes, that Arthur) and his men into the Underworld to find what treasures may be discovered there.  The Cauldron is in the possession and stewardship of Gwynn ap Nudd, the Lord of the Underworld (and King of the Fae) The description of the Cauldron is beautiful.  It is edged with pearls and heated with the breath of nine maidens. But it is the magickal power of the Cauldron that I find most inspirational. 

The Cauldron of Annwfn can provide as much of whatever good thing is required however, it will not boil the food of a coward.  So, if one is willing to brave the terror of the threshold and the shadows of the Underworld, one can claim as much as one needs of whatever good thing one requires.  Courage is all that is needed. 

Magick often works that way I think.  We must be willing to face what we fear, and in doing so, we gain what we need to live a life of abundance and beauty.

the Raven of the Void

This past weekend I attended the annual Yule ritual conducted by my Tradition.  I have only attended this ritual once before, seven years ago, before I knew any of these amazing people, before I was a part of this Tradition, this community.  I should not have let so many years pass between.  It took place after the sun had set in a circle surrounded by woods.  The night was unusually warm and the wind blew with an energy that reminded me of summer.  The stars of Winter’s first night were unmistakable in the clear dark sky above.  The path to the circle was lit by candles as was the circle itself and in the center of the circle a fire burned bright and warm and was tended by two members of my Tradition as an act of service.

The ritual is beautiful and moving.  The White Lady of Winter speaks to those in attendance as does the Sun Lord.  But in between, the Raven of the Void comes into the Circle and exhorts us to release those griefs, sorrows, fears and wounds that we have been holding onto as if they would somehow keep us alive.  As it happens, I was holding onto much more than I thought.

 

After the Raven speaks, he invites us to keen, to release our pain by screaming, shouting, wailing and howling.  The sound is not only unearthly and seemingly inhuman but it is impossible to remain unmoved when bearing witness to it.  Before you are aware of it, you are weeping and keening and the Raven takes all of that sorrow and pain and through the fire, transforms it into something else.

I remember some of his words deep in my soul; they were not for remembering so much as for experiencing in that moment.  They are not available to me as memory of language but as memory of magick.  I know that when the ritual was over, I felt less heavy, less tight, less cold, less afraid.  I felt cleaner. 

I have spent most of the past year actively learning to let go, to allow life to happen, but I have so much more to learn about myself, about life, about how the Gods expect me to serve them and my community.  I thought that I had done what I needed to do but, there is always more.  

Sometimes you have to welcome the Raven of the Void.

Magick without Words

I have been very quiet for a while now.  I have been wanting to write but have been focused on listening.   I have been dreaming much more than I ever have in the past.   At first the dreams were expressions of my hormonal situation (it seems that my body was reacting to the imminent onset of menapause by ramping up my libido to epic proportions)   Being single and living alone, it was a bit frustrating.  But that seems to have passed for the moment and for a while now the dreams have taken on a quieter and more reflective tone. 

After the frenzy of the past few months I feel exhausted and my dream sleep has become difficult to surface from on a daily basis.  I find it tiring to engage with others.  I find myself wanting to be with loved ones but engaging them does not come naturally.  I want to sit silently and be near them and watch them and listen to them but, my thoughts have difficulty finding their way into language and then to expression through speech.

I held my granddaughter yesterday for the first time.  I could have happily sat there for days.  Because I did not have to use words, I could simply hold her close in my arms and allow my heart to feed my love directly into her little body.  I could simply feel her breathe and whisper into her ears, my voice and my breath carrying energy and light into her sleeping mind.  It is a magick without words. 

That is strange to me.  My thoughts have always before expressed themselves through language.  I love words.  But it seems as though one of the results of the initiation is that I now experience and express magick and ideas through images and other sensory information.  Perhaps this was the way I functioned when I was young, before I fell so completely in love with words.  I do not know but, I am becoming more comfortable with it and better at interpreting it.  

It seems as though, in order to write, I must disengage from it, to surface into the waking world, and as soon as I have achieved my purpose, I sink back into the dreaming without words.  I do hope to find a way to integrate the two.  Perhaps this next month will hold some key about how to do just that.  Blessings upon you as we approach the return of the light.