Conversations with the Bone Mother

Last month I had the honor of aspecting the Goddess Hecate, as Bone Mother, for a joint Harvest Ritual with my coven and another of our Tradition.  Aspecting is a form of divine embodiment practiced by my Tradition. In the weeks leading up to the Ritual, and in the weeks since, Hecate Bone Mother and I have shared many conversations and She has impressed upon me Her desire that I share some of those conversations here. When that Lady “impresses upon you Her desire…”  well, I learned a long time ago not to argue with such “requests”.  I am going to comply eventually anyway. Life is easier if I dance to the Music the Gods are playing.  And I learn more effectively when I don’t waste time avoiding the lessons.  That being said, it is unusual to invoke Hecate in that aspect, especially at the first Harvest.  The Sun, while waning, is still strong. The light is still long. The Summer heat is at its greatest.  Green growth is abundant and full.  She was thrilled, to be invoked, and to have the pleasure of being in a body, even one with the limitations mine possesses, at this season, so full of Life.  The first thing she imparted to me was this;

“You have work to do Witch, get off your ass and get started.” 

She was referring to the spell I work to bless my grandchild. I had just learned that my second grandchild is expected in early December, but not having done any witchcraft to manifest the child, as I had before my first was conceived, I had not yet begun to work the spell.  Next was a discourse on the Magick of Bones. (Which of course would include a spell to manifest a child in Strength and Beauty among other blessings).  The importance of our bones, the strength of them, the way they are the vehicle by which we move in the world. 

“You need to move yours more.”

And She is right, to keep this body useful, and strong, I do need to move more.  Specifically, I need to dance, and often. 

“You are not yet ready for a nap in the Boneyard, you are not yet ready to be dust.  You have living to do, you have work to do, and you need to get to it.”

I get tired sometimes, like everyone else, I get weary.  The troubles of the day are more than sufficient, some days they are overly abundant. But I am indeed not dead yet, nor am I ready to turn to dust.  I still have living to do, I still have work to do, I still have loving to do.

“Every bone has its purpose. Some are for walking and climbing, some are for stitching with a needle, some are for embracing loved ones.  Just as every essential part of us has a use, none of them are without purpose.  None of our Bones are to be disowned. None of our essential selves are to be either.”

Those parts of ourselves that we despise, that we desire to abandon, are in fact necessary.  They are our very Bones.  They are the structure that helps us stand and move and they are the parts of us that will remain longer than any other.  They are quintessentially us. Even more than our Blood, which will turn to dust in the blink of an eye.  The Ritual was about the Sacrifice of the Harvest.  She wanted those present to offer to Her their Bones.  To offer a part of themselves, to release something of themselves that She could then give back to them as a new thing, as a magickal tool to help them grow, to be used upon their journey in the future.  Now, in aspecting a Goddess for a group ritual, especially such a One as She, I would have expected Her to express Herself with some solemnity, some mystery, some poetry even but, that is not what She chose to do.  Rather, She used my repertoire of swear words, such as it is, (evidently, I need to expand my vocabulary a bit) and She spoke quite bluntly, no pulling punches, no dancing around things.  Truth be told, I spent a few days afterward worrying about it. And the conversations continued.

“…and why is it any concern of yours?  I choose what words and what manner of speech will serve me in the moment, and it is not your worry how I choose to present myself.  You only need to be strong and flexible and to keep your heart open so that I may touch those who need Me to in they way that they need Me to.” 

It took a few days but, I thought about how she received each person’s sacrifice. How She did so with such compassion, and respect and reverence.  She truly valued each Bone She was offered.  And She gave to each person love, blessing and magick in turn.  And that was my hope as a priestess in that Ritual, to serve Her well, so that She could bless those present.  Once I was able to let go of my worries over how my service to Her was perceived by others, She pointed out that I had yet to make my own sacrifice to Her.  Indeed, I had not been able to choose. (Sometimes the immediacy of Ritual can help force us to choose, and in that moment, we discover what we need most.)  I had time, too much time perhaps.  I thought about what I remembered of the sacrifices She had been offered by others, many were surprisingly repeated over and over again.  So many human Bones are shared among us.  But I eventually discovered what my sacrifice was supposed to be.  I was discussing with her my worries about becoming an old woman, especially my concerns regarding my eventual loss of vision, and the fact that many things that I had hoped for in this lifetime were no longer possible.  I decided to offer to her those hopes, the hopes of a young woman for blessing that life can hold for a young woman and that eventually become the safety and blessings of an old woman.  And then She did the most magickal thing.

“You do not need to give up this thing.”

She was correct.  I had lumped one thing into that sacrifice that was not “something that is no longer possible”.  And so, She gave it back to me.  It is not ‘a thing that will happen” but it is “a thing that can happen” if I choose to make it so.  I have a blessed life, and it is good to know that if I choose, I still have time to manifest a dream from my youth.  I can make that a part of my life as an “old woman”.  Hecate Bone Mother is now Someone with whom I have relationship.  She even chose a gift from among my possessions.  A necklace of black and amber beads with a fossil of a nautilus shell that was given to me by one of my Elders at my third degree initiation.  Although I liked it very much, I had never worn it, nor had I given it away, I did not know why.  But almost two years later, it was still among my things. She chose it immediately upon being asked if she would like a gift from me. I suspect we will have many more conversations in the future, and some She may wish for me to share with those who choose to read this blog.  In the meantime, I am not dead yet, I am not ready to turn to dust nor to take a nap in the Boneyard.  I have work to do and I need to be busy about getting to it. Blessings from the Bone Mother.  Blessed Be.

Spirits of Place

Spirits of Place exist in any natural geologic feature but, those I have always found it easiest to relate to personally have been those connected to bodies of fresh Water and the Land surrounding them.  

My ancient ancestors in South Wales would have perceived the rivers closest to them to be deity.  My parents grew up on the banks of the Susquehannah River (in the North-Eastern part of Pennsylvania) as did many generations before them.  

I grew up near the Delaware River and I now live on the banks of the Schyulkill River. The Leni-Lenape who lived here before us called the River “Turtle Creek”.  The name has the added meaning of “Hidden” or “Refuge”.  

When I first moved here seven months ago, I sought to form a relationship, a connection to the Spirit of this Place and that meant the River and the Land surrounding it. 

I began visiting the banks of the River and found a Sycamore Tree (one of the species of Trees for which I bare a strong affection and affinity).  I made offerings and expressed a desire to build relationship with the River and the Tree and the Land.

At the suggestion of one of my wise and valued teachers, I carved Othala into the soft Earth beneath the Sycamore, then scraped the Earth and the Rune into a bowl.  I collected Water from the River into a jar and brought the Earth and the Water home.

In my bedroom I created an Altar to the Spirit of this Place where I now live.  I placed the Earth and the Water into silver dishes and scribed Othala into them and I placed a small Turtle fetish carved from green stone between them.  Every day that I am home, I light a candle and sing at this Altar, and every day that I can, I visit the Tree and the Riverbank and  I sing there as well.

The Spirit of this Place supports me and I give thanks for this new Friend.  Spirits of Place have been my allies since I was a small child and I give thanks for each one of them.  

The Divine Masculine, He is more than you think He is…

I was incredibly blessed this past weekend to spend it in the company of many men who embody the Divine Masculine.  I love many of these men and most of them I believe recognize the Divine Masculine within themselves.  Many, but not all. 

That is profoundly sad to me.  And since speaking Truth is part of my purpose in this life, I wish to describe some of the aspects of the God that are not always seen as such, so that those beloveds who look at me with confusion and denial when I tell them “Thou art the God” may begin to see the truth of my sight.

It is easy to see the God in His aspects of Hunter, Warrior, Mage, Priest, Father, Teacher and Guide.  Traditional Male roles of Power and Authority.  For the record, I have a great fondness for the Strength and Power to be found in Men who embody these Qualities of the Divine Masculine.  I am grateful for them and love them dearly.  My world would be a much less beautiful place for their absence.

But there are aspects of the God that are often over-looked or not recognized for the Beauty, Power and Life-giving Joy that they bring to the world, especially by those Men who embody Him in these ways.  The Lover, the Jester, the Healer, are also aspects of the Divine Masculine. 

The Lover, not only as sexual partner but, as “He who loves others with an open and tender heart.”  The God who brings Music to the world, and Art and Poetry.  He who gives warmth to others.  He who creates buildings and bridges, Who creates Magick and Enchantment.  He who draws us out of our isolation and brings us together for the warmth and pleasure of shared joy, fellowship, food, wine and song.

The Jester, The Divine Fool.  Is not irresponsible, un-intelligent, or careless but rather, He who makes us laugh, who invites us to lay down our burdens and sorrows for a time and Play, Carefree and Happy. He who allows us to return again to the innocent pleasure of being a child.  He who compels us to Dance and find Joy in the moment so that our lives can be engaged once again with a lighter heart.  He who brings us Revelry, so that we can remember that we are here to enjoy our lives.  Without Him, our world is dreary, lonely, cold despair indeed.

The Healer is “He who has compassion.”  He who cares for those in pain and who has the skills and strength and will to bring about a change in the situation.  The Healer has the courage to put others before Himself.  He is the one who recognizes the need for each of us to be touched and held.  He, like the Father and Teacher, is nurturing and strong, although He is not always recognized as such. 

Many people would ascribe these qualities to the Divine Feminine.  While I love the Goddess and respect and embrace all of her aspects, I recognize the Healer, Teacher and Poet in me as the sparks of the Divine Masculine that I embody. 

Yes, I am a Woman, a Mother, a Priestess.  I embody much of the Divine Feminine and I am grateful for the Goddess within me but, I also cherish the God, in all of His wonderful forms, including those sparks that manifest in my Female Human Soul.

Hail the God!  Hail the Divine Masculine!  He is more than you think He is…

The Garden Forge; a visit to Brighid

You are standing in a clearing on a hill, surrounded by woods.

Before you stands a stone tower, the surface half-covered with moss.

There are ancient symbols carved into the stones and as you try to decipher them you notice a rough wooden door, dark with age.

You pull on the latch and slowly, the door opens enough to allow you to enter.

Inside it is quiet. Light filters in from windows high above and the air smells of wood smoke and blackberries. The floor is smooth and worn.  There is a stair to your left spiraling upward and to your right leading down.

You turn to your left and begin to ascend the stair.  The stone steps are even and smooth and easy to climb.  The light and air are warm and fragrant.  You can see glimpses of blue sky through the high narrow windows above you and you climb step by step up and around and up and up and up and around.  You can no longer see the door but you keep climbing wondering when you will reach the top.  Just as you are considering turning back you come to another door. 

The stair continues to spiral even further upward and you consider continuing your ascent but you notice a hammer hanging by the door. 

The door is a warm golden wood finely carved with intricate spirals and graceful symbols.  You test the latch and the door opens smoothly and easily outward into an orchard, filled with the sunshine of a bright summer day.  There is a path through the trees in front of you lined with blackberry bushes full of ripe black sweet berries.

You hear the sound of a hammer striking an anvil in a regular rhythm and you follow the orchard path to the source of the sound.   The trees are large and in full leaf and you cannot see beyond the ones immediately surrounding you. But you keep following the sound until just when you begin to think that the sound is actually your own heartbeat you step out from the next tree and find a roofed structure with no walls. 

Beneath the roof is a Forge.  The coals are glowing and a woman stands at the anvil beating the metal she is working, with the hammer in her hand. She is tall with a strong body and a presence that is even larger.  She seems to take up all the space within the forge.  Her short red hair, her entire body, seem to glow with flame. 

She plunges the piece into the basin of water beside her and the steam rises.  She then looks at you with bright hazel eyes and smiles a warm and welcoming smile, wiping sweat from her brow with her forearm.

This is Brighid, the Goddess of Smiths, the Mother of Midwives, and the Muse of Poets.  Warrior, Healer and Fiery Arrow.  Go to her and she will transform you, speak with her and she will heal you, listen to her and she will inspire you. 

When you feel it is time to go, thank the Lady and take your leave of Her.  Follow the path through the orchard back to the tower. The door stands open and you enter and descend the stair then pass through the open door to the place where you began.

Rebuilding...

For the past few months I have been undergoing a process of deconstruction, of tearing down everything that I count on, everything that I believe.  The destruction of my internal structures, the resurrection of unresolved memories, and the complete desolation of self had left me nothing but the core of my pathology, a crippled creature to be put down.  At one point a few weeks ago I was as far down into the abyss as I can ever remember being. 

My sister and Priestess was worried about me and said so, calling me to account and making me admit to the place I was occupying.  My brother and priest recognized that I was on the edge and pushed and poked until I lost the last bit of my control and, like a spring wound too tightly, I became un-sprung.  My beloved kinsman gave me objective guidance and tools to assist me in learning skills that I have lacked.  My lover held me and listened and talked and kept me from total isolation by giving me the comfort of his company and the wisdom of his own experience with his own abyss. 

I had lost my vision, I had lost my desire to continue to engage, to serve, I had nothing but doubt that I would ever be able to become what I need to be, even survival was not a sure thing but, I kept fighting.  And I am once again able to see the vision of what I can be.  I have remembered the desire to serve.  I have regained my feet and have discovered that I am not crippled.  I have found that lack of balance means I need to learn to dance in the void. 

Many of the ways in which I had functioned will not serve me in the work I hope to do.  I have begun new work, I am learning new skills, and engaging in new relationship with Deity.   I am rebuilding a new structure. I have a new vision of how to build a structure that will serve me and those I love.  One with more open space and less obstructions, less obstacles, with bigger windows to let in more light and to let in more air, to let the fires burn warmer and brighter, to let the waters flow more freely. 

I give thanks for those who helped me not only to survive the past few months but to rise from them ready to begin building something new.  May they be blessed and may I live up to their trust and their love.  Blessed Be

Are the Gods capricious?

Sometimes, when we have made the decision to finally, fully step onto the path with intent, but we have hesitated because we did not know where to begin, the Gods will give us a “push”.  They will answer our unformed intention, our unspoken desire, with what feels like a slap in the face or a kick in the teeth, or the rug being pulled out from under us.

Mine came eleven years ago as a very bad week at work and ultimately the loss of a job that was becoming a detriment to my life, my health, my sanity and my well-being.  It wasn’t a bad job.  It wasn’t unethical, nor was I treated poorly but, I was stuck in a cycle of stress, pressure, cocaine and crisis that I could not choose to walk away from.  I was deeply unhappy and I could not see a way out.  So Brighid found one for me.

I remember feeling incredibly relieved and smiling when I was told.  The cocaine use ended almost immediately and shortly thereafter I started massage school. I began to learn how to live in the moment, how to be present in my body, how to heal with my hands, how to move energy, and how to live mindfully.  For the next six years I had time to practice my faith both in my work and in my life,  In those years I found my coven and my community and began walking my path with direction and purpose. 

Five years ago, after my first degree initiation, I became a bonded member of my coven, began working as a banker, I left a marriage, began my second degree initiation process, and moved house three times in one year until I found my current home. In the four years since I landed in the home They intended for me, I have been promoted twice, completed my second degree initiation, quit my job, and returned to it, began my third degree initiation process, and began therapy.

I have learned to follow the path that is never clear, to listen to my intuition and correct my course, to see where it is that The Gods want me to go and to take each step toward that place one at a time, finding the next only after taking the one in front of me.  They have pushed me and kept me in my job even when I wanted to be doing something else.  They have allowed me to be alone and lonely, in love and disappointed.  They have pushed me to learn who I am and to dig into profoundly painful truths. 

But as long as I keep taking the next step, as long as I continue forward into that journey they intend for me, they have not needed to kick me in the teeth.

My Gods are not cruel, they are not capricious but, they do not care all that much about my comfort, or my “happiness”.  What they do seem to care about is my readiness to do the work and the evolution of my spirit.  I can only do the work if I am sane, healthy, strong and whole.  If my mind, heart, soul or body is encumbered by dysfunction or deformity, I am not as useful to them, or to my purpose, my family, my coven, my community or my world. 

If I am listening and willing to follow their guidance, they have no need to rain stones upon my head, they can simply whisper in my ear.  They will dance as lightly in my life as possible, or as brutally as necessary…the choice is mine.

They have never abandoned me, or asked me to do anything unethical or anything that I was not capable of doing (although I may not have believed it at the time).  They have always lead me to do that which was better for me…even when they needed to kick me in the teeth to get me there.  I am Blessed by my Gods and I Give Thanks.

Freyja-Vanadis; a new relationship...

Twenty-one years ago, when I began this journey and began meeting the Gods and building relationships with them, I learned the story of Freyja-Vanadis, the Vanir Goddess of love, sex, beauty, war, death and magick who lived with the Aesir and learned the Runes from Odin and in return taught Seidr to the All-Father.  At that time, and for years after, I made petition to Her to work with me, but the Lady was silent. 

I have always believed that She heard me and that Her silence was Her answer…I was not ready.  It was not that I was unsuitable, or that I was unworthy…I was simply not ready to learn the lessons that she would teach me.  I had work to do, other lessons to learn, skills to develop, before I could understand or effectively practice the magick that she had to teach me.

I attended the Conjure Dance at Sacred Space/Between the Worlds Conference a couple of weeks ago and, this year I was successful in opening enough to enter trance and converse with the Gods.

I spoke with and heard the voices of Beloved Deities with whom I have had relationships for years.  It was profoundly moving and I am grateful that the work that I have done in this past year was successful.  It was something that I have spent a great deal of energy and focus on and it meant a great deal to me to discover that I am indeed capable of opening enough, and to do so in the presence of other human beings.

But the most surprising voice was that  of the Lady.   Freyja-Vanadis spoke to me.  And what She said to me was this,

“Now, you are ready”.

And so I am once again building  a new relationship with the Goddess.  She has already brought many new experiences and insights, new friendships and new perspectives, a new understanding of my Self and of my work in the world, and of my service to others, and of the nature of love.  And I see more clearly what I have now that I did not have then.  

I am both honored and filled with hope to begin the work that She and I will do together…to begin the work that She would teach me.  I am also filled with the joy I find in knowing Her.

Hail Freyja-Vanadis, Lady of Light, Beauty, Fire, Passion, Joy, Magick and Love! Hail and Welcome!

Trust and Faith in the Gods…

There are many who worship or honor the Gods. There are many who work with and serve the Gods.  There are many who love and praise the Gods.  But how many of us have faith in or trust the Gods?

Faith is belief in the Gods…knowing who They are and that They are real, even believing that They hear us and speak to us…faith is relatively easy…but Trust is another matter.

Trust happens when you take action based upon faith.  Trust is doing what They have asked even when you don’t see the benefit…only the cost.  And when it comes to Gods who have a reputation for dubious dealing…well Trust is a hard thing, maybe too hard.

But I do trust my Gods…even the Ones with questionable reputations.  I trust Them because in my experience…They have NEVER let me down.  They have never abandoned me; They have never asked for what I cannot give…nor for anything that it did not benefit me to do.  They have never asked me to do something that was not within my ethical boundaries.

Sometimes the price is high and often…nearly always, it has been unexpected…but the gifts I have received in return have always been greater.

Trusting the Gods, acting on Their guidance, is often uncomfortable.  It is sometimes painful, and can be quite frightening or simply confusing, because I do not always see Their purpose.  But They have never failed to lead me to that which is better for me, and for those I love. 

I do not follow blindly.  I am responsible for my choices and my actions.  I would not do something I felt to be unethical at Their bidding.  I do believe negotiation is appropriate as it is in any relationship but, I do Trust…because They have earned my Trust.  

Cernunnos; into the woods

My Coven’s Patron is the Horned God Cernunnos, Lord of the Wild, both the wild within the Natural World and within the Human Soul.

The following is a Journey I wrote a couple of years ago as a way to introduce others to my Beloved Wild God.  I hope you enjoy the experience.  Good Journey.

You are standing in a clearing on a hill, surrounded by woods.

Before you stands a stone tower, the surface half-covered with moss.

There are ancient symbols carved into the stones and as you try to decipher them you notice a rough wooden door, dark with age.

You pull on the latch and slowly, the door opens enough to allow you to enter.

Inside it is quiet. Air warm as a summer night drifts down from windows high above. The floor is smooth and worn.  There is a stair to your left spiraling upward and to your right leading down.

You turn to your left and begin to ascend the stair.  The stone steps are even and smooth and easy to climb.  The air is warm and fragrant.  You can see glimpses of a starry sky through the high narrow windows above you and you climb step by step up and around and up and up and up and around.  You can no longer see the door but you keep climbing wondering when you will reach the top.  Just as you are considering turning back you come to another door. 

The stair continues to spiral even further upward and you consider continuing your ascent but you are drawn to the door. It is a warm golden wood carved with spirals and ancient symbols.  You test the latch and the door opens smoothly and easily outward into a forest of ancient trees in full green, the stars of the summer night sparkling through the leaves and branches high above your head. 

Fire flies glow and blink their green light everywhere between the trees and as you watch them you notice a path before you and a creature standing in the path some yards ahead.  It is large and very still and you have to look for a few moments before you can discern what the creature is.  Then you begin to make out the graceful antlers reaching up from its brow and you know that the creature standing so still, waiting for you, is a Great Stag.  And He is indeed waiting.  You step forward onto the path and the Stag begins to walk away from you. You stop and he stops looking back at you and waiting, so you step forward again and follow the magnificent creature as it leads you down the path deep into the forest.

You follow the Stag for what seems a very long distance.  You begin to worry that you will be lost in these woods but then the Stag disappears around a bend in the path and when you reach the spot, your heart pounding from the fear that you have lost your guide, you find yourself in a glade, the Stag indeed gone from sight. 

The ground is clear and smooth, a small brook flows along one side and there reclining beside the brook, playing with the flowing water with one hand, is a very strange looking man.

He is naked and his long brown hair is braided with vines and feathers and from his brow raises a graceful pair of antlers.

This is Cernunnos.  Green Man and Horned God.  Lord of the Forest, Lord of the Beasts.  The Wild God. 

He looks up at you and grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief and what seems like laughter.  He doesn’t speak but rises and you hear plainly in your head “Lets Run!”

 He runs, and you follow.  You find that despite what you would have expected you are able to run as fast as He.  Faster and easier than you ever have, leaping higher and with more power and grace than you have ever known. It is exhilarating and your heart beats and your blood rushes through your veins and your muscles move with a strength and agility you have only ever dreamt of.   You Run and run  until you finally lose sight of him and you stop running, not even a little out of breath and step forward into the glade and find him as you did before.

Drink from the brook, cool your brow if you wish, relax on the soft ground.  Spend as much time as you like with the God.

When you feel it is time to go, thank the God and take your leave of Him.  Follow the path back to the tower. The door stands open and you enter and descend the stair then pass through the Door to the place where you began.

a friend of the Fae...

In my experience of my Gods, Ancestors and Allies, the boundaries between Deity, Fae, Animal Spirits, Land Spirits, and Ancestors are blurred.  One may be all of those simultaneously.  The Fae with whom I have relationships are among the Deities that I worship and work with, They are among the Ancestors that I worship and work with, They are Deities of the Land, and They also often present Themselves as Animal Spirits.  Some Deities may be Fae, and some Fae may be Deity. 

I am a friend of the Fae, and I consider Them to be among my relations.  I have had a relationship with One for this entire lifetime, and with two Others for more than this lifetime. And I work with Others that I have come to know since I have walked this path.  

Aside of my own relationships, I am not an authority on the Fae.  I have on occasion been asked by other witches how to go about working with Them, and so I would like to share some of what I have learned through those relationships in the interest of assisting others to avoid doing damage to the relations between our two species.  It is very important to me that the bonds between us be restored and healed. 

Understand that the Fae are different from us and they are, like us, individuals.  Building relationships happens between individuals.  And understanding the differences in how to build relationships is important in order not to do more damage to the relations between us.

 

Until you have built a relationship with an individual and even after, whenever dealing with someone with whom you do not have a relationship, certain guidelines should be respected.  Do not “thank” the Fae, do not accept food or drink, do not offer or give a part of yourself such as hair, or any personal belonging.  Most of all, do not ever make a promise and not do absolutely everything within your power to keep it.

If you are only interested in dabbling, please do not pursue working with the Fae.  They do not take well to being trifled with.  They also do not deal lightly with liars.  That may seem a strong word to apply to fickleness but, in dealing with Them, “changing your mind” or “losing interest” or becoming distracted with some other area of interest, is not an excuse for not keeping your word. 

Building relationships takes time, They will not necessarily respond quickly to your efforts.  But if you truly desire to build a lifelong working relationship with an individual of the Fae, there are some ways in which you might proceed. 

Find a place where there may be Fae nearby.  Find places that feel welcoming.  If the place feels wrong, if you do not feel welcome there, leave and do not return, find someplace else.  Give Them respect and do not invade places where you are not welcome. 

Find Natural places, Wild places, Between places, where water and earth touch, or where sky and earth touch, or where certain trees are known to grow in close proximity to each other.  Visit these places and spend time sitting quietly. 

Take offerings of milk, or spirits (alcohol) or honey.  Take oats and apples and any other offerings that seem right to you.  Play music and sing for them, and spend time waiting and listening.  

Declare your hope and intentions and then, keep your word.  Even if you receive no response.  Even when you think that you have not been heard. Even when you get bored and tired.  Keep showing up and keep waiting and listening.  And when someone shows up, follow the guidelines above. 

Understand that not everyone who may show up is someone with whom you want to build a relationship but, if they prove to be honorable, you must be so as well. 

The Fae with whom I share relationship are beloved to me, and I strive to restore positive relations between our Human species and Thiers.  They have given me guidance and healing and purpose.  I give thanks for Them.

If you desire to know more, I can recommend teachers who can give an even greater understanding of Their kind.  Leave me a comment below including your email address and I will be happy to send you information of where to find such teachers.  Blessed Be.

Arianrhod; a journey to the Temple of the Moon

I am a daughter of Arianrhod.  I have not written a great deal about my Patroness.  I have made reference to Herself many times and the ways in which She has led me on my journey.  It is my intention to write more about my own experience of Herself but, She will be known to those She calls on Her own terms and so first I will offer this journey. 

This is a journey to the Temple of the Moon, a place to meet with Her face to face.  I wrote this journey a few years ago, it was a gift given to me by the Lady Herself as a means of guiding others to a place where they could meet with Her.  Blessed Journey.

 You are standing beside a lake, a soft mist is rising from its glassy surface.  The moon overhead is full and bright in a deep sky, filled with stars.

Before you on the bank is a small white boat tied to stone moorings.  There are ancient symbols and graceful spirals etched into the stones. You climb into the boat and sit and it moves, out into the lake. 

The surface of the lake appears undisturbed as the boat carries you farther and farther from the shore.  You try to see into the dark water but, the still surface only reflects the moon and the stars in the dark sky overhead.  The mist that rises from the water surrounds the boat and you can no longer see the shore, indeed you can see nothing in any direction but the sky above, the water below and the mist all around you.  You are engulfed in dark water, and dark sky and mist, silver in the moonlight.  Surrounded by millions of stars.

You smell only clean water and hear only the soft lapping against the sides of the boat as it continues to carry you, you know not where.  Just as you begin to despair that you will be lost in the mists forever, the mist clears and you see an island.  It is heavily forested with tall ancient trees.  The boat comes to rest and as you step out onto the stone moorings you notice the same symbols and spirals etched into their surfaces.

A stone stair leads up into the woods from the landing and you begin to climb.  The moonlight through the trees is bright and illuminates the stair as you climb up and up through the trees, their branches whispering in the soft breeze.  You notice an owl gliding silently above you and you watch her for a moment. 

When you bring your focus back to the stair you have reached the top and before you is a circular structure.  Tall graceful arches surround a stone floor.  The bright Moon and starry sky illuminate the arches and the floor and they shine silver in the moon-bright night.

At the archway before you is a silver basin of water and a small silver bell.  You purify yourself with these and enter the Temple of the Moon.  The Temple is filled with Moonlight and a woman stands before you.  Her hair and skin are shining silver and she seems clothed in moonlight.  She holds a silver wheel sparkling with stars in her hands.

This is Arianrhod, Lady of the moon and stars, Keeper of the silver wheel, Goddess of Fate.  She greets you and you speak with her.  Ask what questions you will.  You may dance in celebration if you wish.

When you feel it is time to go, Thank the Lady and take your leave of Her and descend the stair, the boat will take you back to the place that you began.

Developing Relationships with Deity...and anyone else...

Relationship is the mutual understanding and exchange between two individuals.  The nature of that understanding and exchange is determined by the nature of the individuals involved.  If they are both persons of honor, the exchange is positive.  This is the type of relationship I seek.  Not every individual is honorable, honest, ethical or worthy of respect and trust.  These people, no matter if they are human or other, are best avoided.  That being said, how do I know that the person with whom I am engaging is indeed someone I can trust?

Meeting someone new is always a challenge for me.  I have a default setting of “do not trust”.  That has not changed throughout my life but, I have learned to trust myself and my own intuition and judgment.   Not every person, human or other, is worthy of trust, but many are and if I choose to never trust anyone, I rob myself of a great deal of joy, growth and love. 

That being the case I take a long time to get to know people.  I learn everything I can about them from as many sources as I can. I seek out the worst that anyone has to say about them and the best. I evaluate the motives and veracity of those sources and try to find as many unbiased opinions as I can. I observe their behavior as much as possible when they are most likely to be uncensored.  Then I begin to test the waters to see how they will relate to me.  I test everything they say against my logical and skeptical mind and with my heart and my inner ear and my “gut”.  When I have finally decided to trust someone, I know that this person is worthy of my trust and perhaps of my devotion and loyalty.

 

I believe that the process works for any person, human or other, with whom I may choose to build a relationship.  Most people can be trusted to act according to their nature and if I understand what that is, I can trust that.  I do not expect the Dark Mother to be full of light, I do trust that she will destroy that which does not serve my greater good and so long as I do not fight her work in my life, she will dance with me as gently as possible and as brutally as necessary.  If you invoke a Deity into your life, there is a point at which you must realize that they do not answer to you.  I do not surrender my own free will or my responsibility for my choices.  Just because Deity asks me to do something does not release me of responsibility for it, I still have to choose.

Once I have decided that this is a person of honor and worthy of trust and respect and that I desire to build a relationship, how do I proceed?  I begin by learning everything I can about their nature.  I learn their stories, their history and about their culture and family of origin.  I look at images that they have inspired.  I meditate on them and have a conversation.  I ask them if they will work with me.  I find out what they want from me in return and what they think I can learn from them.  I tell them what I am hoping for.  I am respectful and honest.  They may tell me that they will not work with me at this time, or that what I am asking is not appropriate.  That is not the rejection that it sounds like.  If they are worthy of my desire to build a relationship, then they are worthy of trusting when they tell me no.  

If the happy result is that the Deity I wish to work with indeed accepts my petition, then I continue to learn about them and share my stories with them.  They may very well know a great deal about me but, the act of sharing my truth with them can be an important part of the process.  Sometimes as I hear my own words speak my own truth I can come to a greater understanding of that truth or discover inaccuracies in my beliefs about my life and myself. 

I like to create alters to Deity in my home.  I enjoy using them as a focus for my meditations with that Deity and as a place of devotion to them.  It is my way of telling them and reminding myself that they are welcome in my home and in my life, that my relationship with them is important to me.  And sometimes simply as a visual reminder to my own mind and heart that I am not alone and that I need to spend time in communion with my Gods. 

I spend time there talking with my Gods, sharing my heart, discussing my thoughts and ideas, asking for their guidance and thanking them for their gifts.  I make offerings and honor vows made to them.  I do divinations as a way of receiving their guidance.  I sing invocations or recite poetry that they have inspired in me.  I make offerings to them and create gifts for them.   I sit quietly and listen. 

When learning about the Gods I read as much of the original lore as I can get my hands on and as much academic and historic scholarship as I can find. I read inspirational material as well.  I read it all and give appropriate value to those works written by true scholars.  Personal gnosis is wonderful but it is just that, personal.  Every relationship is unique to the individuals involved.  One witch’s experience of a God is not going to be identical to mine. I also take into consideration that often the lore was written by human beings with limited understanding and perhaps personal bias and conflicting agendas, and I try to focus on the actual stories and not on the narrative commentary in which they may be cloaked.

This is the beginning of my process in developing relationship with my Gods, Ancestors or Allies, be they Deity, Human, Fae or Other.  It is a practice that I consider to be fundamental to my faith and my work.  Relationship is an essential part of my path.  I give thanks for the relationships with which I have been blessed.  Blessed Be.

The Journey...

The foundation of my personal spiritual practice is not something that I do every day (except for a week or two for very specific reasons).  It is something that I did not begin practicing until I was 28 years old, when I read my first book about the path I am now walking.

The Celtic Shaman by John Mathews was a book that I found in a “normal” bookstore in town while attending a very conservative Christian University.  I had moved to South Carolina and was living in a camper off campus in an attempt to complete my degree at the University my parents had sent me to when I left the College in Indiana.  It was a very intense four months of self-discovery and a very painful time of darkness.  In that book I first read the names of my Gods.  I first learned that there were stories and poems about the Gods of my Ancestors.  And through that book I experienced my first Journey into the Otherworlds.  That book changed my life forever.  That Journey and every Journey since saved my life.

For years I had no other practice but journey and building relationships, I did not even write for almost 14 years except for a rare poem or two.  And those Journeys eventually led me to my beloved Coven and Community.  My Patroness has led me through the Journey and I have met many who guide and strengthen me.  

If I lost all else, I would still have my relationships with my Gods, my Ancestors and my Allies, I would still have joy in my heart and the sustaining practice of the journey.
I give thanks for all of those with Whom I have relationship and for the new Allies I meet as I continue my journey on this path.  Blessed am I on this path.  

So Mote it Be

I spent New Year’s Eve the way I do every year, doing magick and journeying all night to gain guidance from my Gods, Ancestors and Allies. I look back on the past year to remember the lessons and the moments of profound joy and the moments of understanding.  I seek to hear the voices of those who guide me to discover what they would have me do, where I should focus my attention and efforts. 

This year I am in the process of doing the work to accomplish my third degree initiation.  This year They have given me more than guidance, this year They have given me specific imperatives.  In every area of my life there are specific things that I must accomplish if I would follow ALL that they require of me.

I must be writing every day.  I must be actively crafting poetry and create at least one poem each month.  I must write at least one chapter of the novel and one short story each month. I must journal every day; I must post to the Journeys of the Runes and Stories from the Cauldron each month.  I must post to Exploring the Other Side of the Looking Glass each week and I must post to this blog for the Pagan Experience each week.  I must finish the book and submit it to a publisher before the year is out.  I must read my poetry in a public forum. 

I must find opportunities to connect with my local community.  I must engage in broader community and with family and friends each month.  I must begin to engage in opportunities to teach.  I must begin to read the Runes for others and improve my ability to communicate the things they tell me so that others may understand what they have to say to them. I must complete the first year of Shamanic training that I have committed to for the next two years.

I must spend time outdoors each week and I must journey each week.  I must continue my daily practice and adapt it when necessary.  I must visit the Sweat Lodge and make use of the opportunities that my astrological transits present to me to grow. I must complete my staff and I must strengthen my relationship with fire by learning new skills and engaging with the element directly.

I must care for my mundane life by being diligent in doing the things that are necessary.  By saving for retirement and keeping food in the house and seeing my chiropractor and getting a massage more often. 

There are many things that I have hoped to do over the past years, and some I have accomplished and some I have not.  But imperatives from those who guide me are not to be left to chance, they are vows of intent and naming them on this blog is the equivalent to stating intention in sacred space because for me this is sacred space.  And words said in sacred space hold power over us until they have come to pass.  I will accomplish those things my Gods, Ancestors and Allies have given to me to accomplish in this coming year by diligently applying myself to my commitments day by day.  So Mote it Be.