Despair is the enemy of change...

This past week has been a difficult one for many, including me.  First there was the shock of the shooting itself.  Then came the grief and anger and fear, the frustration and desire for retribution, and the insult of erasure.  

   

The sheer stupidity and incredible ignorance of the public discourse was almost unbearable if you even bothered to listen, which truth be told, I did not. Because I knew it would be dreadful and I refused to subject myself to it.  But I am aware of the effect it had on those I love.

I do not advocate willful ignorance.  Hiding one’s head in the sand is not a practical solution to the ills of our world but, I can spend five minutes a day in research to discover the facts of what happened and to get confirmation that the reactions of the ignorant and hateful factions of our society are indeed what I had suspected they would be.  I refuse to spend the precious substance of my life, my time, exposing my soul to the wasteful and damaging effects of hate-speech.

I am angry that someone massacred forty-nine people.  Forty-nine of my fellow humans died for no other reason than the hate of another damaged human.  I am angry that those who have a voice are ignoring the fact that those who died were members of a community that has historically been targeted for violence and that has not been protected by those who are entrusted with the defense of the people.

I have loved ones who have been a part of that community for decades.  I too identify as a member of that community, I identify as Queer, although I am not seen as such by almost anyone.  I am angry at the erasure of identity being practiced by those with a public voice in the discourse surrounding this tragedy. 

But the worst thing of all to me is the despair I witness in the hearts and souls of those whom I love.  Two beloveds in particular have spoken words of despair this week, one young and straight, the other gay and middle-aged.  Despair does not discriminate.

Despair is the enemy, make no mistake.  It is normal and natural and completely understandable and I do not ridicule my beloveds, for their despair is a familiar shadow.  But Hope is needed and Faith is necessary.  We cannot affect change, and we need change, if we hold no Hope.  Despair robs us of our will, our energy, our purpose and our joy.

I know the world is a dangerous place.  I know that much of our society is ignorant and operating from a place of fear and hatred.  I know that much of our human race is ill and damaged.  But I believe that we are not beyond Healing, that we are not beyond Hope.

I have Faith that the majority of the human race is not represented by the voices shouting hatred at the top of their lungs.  Indeed those voices are so loud that they all but drown out the voices of our higher angels with their “Sound and Fury”.  But they are indeed idiots and their words signify nothing.  I have Faith that we can continue to affect change, and healing and the positive evolution of our species and our society if we keep working, struggling, fighting, believing.  I believe that we can indeed re-enchant the world so long as we do not give up Hope.

I am not delusional, although I may be stubborn.  And if the world chooses to see me as simple or sentimental because I choose Hope and Faith, so be it but, I will not despair, for despair is the enemy of change and I am a champion of Hope.  

on Power

We all have power.  We are born with it and it is inherent to us as living beings.  But we do not all use our power.  Some of us need to learn how to access it, and some of us need to learn how to use it.  Some of us need to learn how not to be afraid of it.  And once we have found it, and overcome our fear of it; what then?  Power without purpose is nothing, it is a waste.  Abused, it is a danger to ourselves and to others.

We expend our power every day.  Mostly, we waste it on minutia and the little dramas of our daily lives.  We might expend it in loving our family or our lovers, or in achieving a personal victory at work, or in the world.  We might use it for creating art, or bearing grudges.

Loving our families and lovers and partners is a wonderful way to expend our power.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Creating art and causing positive change in the world are also worthwhile ways to use our power.  But as witches, we try to use power with intent.

Building power, holding it until the time is right to release it, takes learning and practice.  It also takes will. It requires purpose and intent and the absolute conviction that these are aligned with our true will.

I have struggled with finding and acknowledging my power.  I have struggled with accessing it and overcoming my fear of it.  I have learned how to hold it and build it but, I am only now learning how to release it and when.  I have been doing a great deal of “soul-searching” to figure out what actually engages my will and what compels me to release power with intent and purpose.

That knowledge is necessary.  Without understanding what engages my will, I will never be able to focus the release of power with intent towards true purpose and, I will not be able to have the impact upon the world that I desire to have.

Fire

Fire is dynamic and intangible.  Its effects can be measured, but it cannot be contained.  It can be extinguished, but not boxed or bottled.  Fire is not an object but, rather a state of becoming. 

Fire is transformation and change. It is destruction of form and release of energy.  It is heat and light and movement.

It is the wild-fire that rages and the lightning strike that sparks the flames, and the sunlight that causes life to grow anew.

It is the need-fire that provides warmth and preserves life, the torch that provides light that allows us to see and the hearth-fire that cooks sustenance for the tribe.

It is the campfire in the night, and the stars in the sky above, and the song of community shared.

Fire is the candle on the southern altar, and the sacred fire at the center of community.

Fire is the wand and the staff that act as conduits for the movement of energy and the energy we move through them and through ourselves.

Fire is the bright red flower in full bloom and the dawn turning to day and the noonday sun in the height of summer bringing the crops to fullness and fruition.

It is the firing of nerve synapses and the chemical reactions within every cell of the body.

Fire is the soul and the seat of desire, passion, will, drive, courage and righteous anger.  

It is the life force that fills the cauldron of warming, and the glowing ember in the cauldron of vocation that moves us to action and the fire in the head, that divine spark in the cauldron of wisdom that compels us to seek and explore that which cannot be found in the mundane existence of the sleepwalker.

Fire is the Phoenix rising from the ashes and the Dragon in the fearless flight of freedom.