My first instinct is to apologize for my silence over the past six months but, I remember that there is no one to apologize to, and that even if there were, I have nothing to apologize for.
There have been many changes in my life this year, and many of them I could not process while experiencing them. Sometimes we have to ride the waves and then process on the shore. Only after we have returned home can we put a framework around our experiences.
In the past two months I left my position with my employer, only to be reinstated within two weeks time in a new position at a new location. During those two weeks I moved from my tree-house (where Pwca and I had lived for four and a half years) to a new home in a new town. I turned 50 and have completed my physical transition into crone (at least the medical definition). I have begun a new phase in my therapy and a new focus in my studies.
I have come out the other side of a very dark time, and I am beginning a new adventure in just about every area of my life.
At Samhaine I received messages about my need for balance. Time engaging in community and laying the foundation for the future, time with my beloveds, and time alone to write and to practice magick, are each desirable and necessary. I am capable of doing all of these things. Balancing them is a skill that I am learning. Recognizing, respecting and communicating boundaries are skills I need to practice if I am to serve my beloveds as well as my own soul.
Returning to my writing is also necessary. Because communicating about the joy and beauty I find in the world, in my community, with my Gods and Allies and Ancestors and beloveds, is one of the ways I fulfill my purpose. Expressing that joy and beauty helps me to remember it every day, which is how I find light among the shadows. Blessed be.