Thursday, June 26, 2014

magick on myself...overcoming social anxiety

In the past few weeks I have had opportunities to engage with people that I had not previously met.  One was social and another was professional. 

I am an extremely introverted person.  While many people would consider opportunities like these to be exciting and something to seek out and to look forward to with anticipation, I typically feel quite the opposite.  I will generally avoid these types of situations if I can, and I feel a great deal of anxiety about them if I cannot.

To be honest, I feel at least some level of anxiety about even being with people that I know and love and enjoy, be they family, friends or community.  I find that being with others requires a good deal of energy from me and often I simply do not have enough energy stores to engage in the way that I would choose to, to be warm and friendly and authentic all at the same time. 

It isn’t that I do not like people; I do, very much in fact but, engaging in the way I would like to isn’t necessarily easy.  Most of the time I prefer to share in community and family through observation rather than interaction.  

But, if I am to fulfill my purpose, I cannot simply observe the world, or my community, or my family.  For example, my granddaughter will never remember me if I never engage with her, if I only ever watch her.  No matter how much joy I gain from doing so, I can experience more joy by engaging with her actively.

I cannot make an impact on others unless I engage with them.  I cannot always remain safely at home and communicate through the written word alone.  Nor do I desire to.  I want to engage with others, I want to love my family and my friends, and I want to serve my Gods and my community, I want to re-enchant my world. 

My purpose is to leave the world changed by my having lived this life, to communicate who I am and where I have been and how I have traveled while I walked this path.  I cannot accomplish this in solitude or isolation.  I do not wish to. Truth be told, I do not learn as much or grow as much as I do with the catalyst of interaction with others and I cannot serve anyone if I am not willing to engage with them. 

On a practical level, I need to work to support myself and that means having a job out there in the world.  In fact, seeking a job that better supports my life and my true work, my magick, was the reason for one of the opportunities I mentioned at the beginning of this post.

I am pleased to say that I successfully navigated both of the opportunities in question.  I had a second interview which went equally well and I am hopeful of receiving an offer soon.  As for the social, I was warm and charming and engaged and I learned a good deal.  I may even attend again soon. 

As witches, we often use magick to assist us in our everyday lives.  Occasionally I will cast spells of operative magick but, rarely have I cast a spell upon myself and I have never before used my magick in the way that I did in these recent situations.  

I enchanted my jewelry for protection and clarity of hearing, and I energized my solar plexus, my voice, and my third eye, to project warmth and strength, to communicate clearly and authentically and, to perceive others as they truly are. 

I also invoked the protection and power of my Beloved Patron.  The magick was successful in accomplishing what I had intended but, it did more than that.  It taught me about my self, and who I am in the light. 

I gained greater perspective on just who I am in my power and in my strength.

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