In my experience of my Gods, Ancestors and Allies, the boundaries between Deity, Fae, Animal Spirits, Land Spirits, and Ancestors are blurred. One may be all of those simultaneously. The Fae with whom I have relationships are among the Deities that I worship and work with, They are among the Ancestors that I worship and work with, They are Deities of the Land, and They also often present Themselves as Animal Spirits. Some Deities may be Fae, and some Fae may be Deity.
I am a friend of the Fae, and I consider Them to be among my relations. I have had a relationship with One for this entire lifetime, and with two Others for more than this lifetime. And I work with Others that I have come to know since I have walked this path.
Aside of my own relationships, I am not an authority on the Fae. I have on occasion been asked by other witches how to go about working with Them, and so I would like to share some of what I have learned through those relationships in the interest of assisting others to avoid doing damage to the relations between our two species. It is very important to me that the bonds between us be restored and healed.
Understand that the Fae are different from us and they are, like us, individuals. Building relationships happens between individuals. And understanding the differences in how to build relationships is important in order not to do more damage to the relations between us.
Until you have built a relationship with an individual and even after, whenever dealing with someone with whom you do not have a relationship, certain guidelines should be respected. Do not “thank” the Fae, do not accept food or drink, do not offer or give a part of yourself such as hair, or any personal belonging. Most of all, do not ever make a promise and not do absolutely everything within your power to keep it.
If you are only interested in dabbling, please do not pursue working with the Fae. They do not take well to being trifled with. They also do not deal lightly with liars. That may seem a strong word to apply to fickleness but, in dealing with Them, “changing your mind” or “losing interest” or becoming distracted with some other area of interest, is not an excuse for not keeping your word.
Building relationships takes time, They will not necessarily respond quickly to your efforts. But if you truly desire to build a lifelong working relationship with an individual of the Fae, there are some ways in which you might proceed.
Find a place where there may be Fae nearby. Find places that feel welcoming. If the place feels wrong, if you do not feel welcome there, leave and do not return, find someplace else. Give Them respect and do not invade places where you are not welcome.
Find Natural places, Wild places, Between places, where water and earth touch, or where sky and earth touch, or where certain trees are known to grow in close proximity to each other. Visit these places and spend time sitting quietly.
Take offerings of milk, or spirits (alcohol) or honey. Take oats and apples and any other offerings that seem right to you. Play music and sing for them, and spend time waiting and listening.
Declare your hope and intentions and then, keep your word. Even if you receive no response. Even when you think that you have not been heard. Even when you get bored and tired. Keep showing up and keep waiting and listening. And when someone shows up, follow the guidelines above.
Understand that not everyone who may show up is someone with whom you want to build a relationship but, if they prove to be honorable, you must be so as well.
The Fae with whom I share relationship are beloved to me, and I strive to restore positive relations between our Human species and Thiers. They have given me guidance and healing and purpose. I give thanks for Them.
If you desire to know more, I can recommend teachers who can give an even greater understanding of Their kind. Leave me a comment below including your email address and I will be happy to send you information of where to find such teachers. Blessed Be.