Humanity

I am Human.  More than anything, I am a human being, a member of the human race.  Before gender, or ethnicity, or sexuality, or spirituality, or politics, or any other detail of my individuality, I am Human.  I think of the entirety of humanity as my relations.  Truth be told, I think of many other species as my relations as well, animals, trees, waters, stones, stars, and the Fae.  But this is about my Human relations.

I am an optimist.  I believe that the human species is not beyond hope.  While we are capable of great violence and darkness, and while many suffer from soul-sickness, and our society as a whole has a great need for healing, I believe that we are also capable of great nobility and compassion.   It is my hope to be a healing influence on those humans with whom I interact in this lifetime, my family and my community but, also those whose names I do not know. My Tradition is engaged in the mission of “Re-enchanting the World” and I strive to fulfill that mission in every encounter I have every day. 

I hold hope, and faith, and love, and joy, and truth.  I hold compassion and I pray for the healing of our species, our society, and our world.  May Humanity survive this sickness long enough to evolve to become the more noble version of ourselves, and may our world survive long enough to see us do so.  So Mote It Be.         

Arianrhod; a journey to the Temple of the Moon

I am a daughter of Arianrhod.  I have not written a great deal about my Patroness.  I have made reference to Herself many times and the ways in which She has led me on my journey.  It is my intention to write more about my own experience of Herself but, She will be known to those She calls on Her own terms and so first I will offer this journey. 

This is a journey to the Temple of the Moon, a place to meet with Her face to face.  I wrote this journey a few years ago, it was a gift given to me by the Lady Herself as a means of guiding others to a place where they could meet with Her.  Blessed Journey.

 You are standing beside a lake, a soft mist is rising from its glassy surface.  The moon overhead is full and bright in a deep sky, filled with stars.

Before you on the bank is a small white boat tied to stone moorings.  There are ancient symbols and graceful spirals etched into the stones. You climb into the boat and sit and it moves, out into the lake. 

The surface of the lake appears undisturbed as the boat carries you farther and farther from the shore.  You try to see into the dark water but, the still surface only reflects the moon and the stars in the dark sky overhead.  The mist that rises from the water surrounds the boat and you can no longer see the shore, indeed you can see nothing in any direction but the sky above, the water below and the mist all around you.  You are engulfed in dark water, and dark sky and mist, silver in the moonlight.  Surrounded by millions of stars.

You smell only clean water and hear only the soft lapping against the sides of the boat as it continues to carry you, you know not where.  Just as you begin to despair that you will be lost in the mists forever, the mist clears and you see an island.  It is heavily forested with tall ancient trees.  The boat comes to rest and as you step out onto the stone moorings you notice the same symbols and spirals etched into their surfaces.

A stone stair leads up into the woods from the landing and you begin to climb.  The moonlight through the trees is bright and illuminates the stair as you climb up and up through the trees, their branches whispering in the soft breeze.  You notice an owl gliding silently above you and you watch her for a moment. 

When you bring your focus back to the stair you have reached the top and before you is a circular structure.  Tall graceful arches surround a stone floor.  The bright Moon and starry sky illuminate the arches and the floor and they shine silver in the moon-bright night.

At the archway before you is a silver basin of water and a small silver bell.  You purify yourself with these and enter the Temple of the Moon.  The Temple is filled with Moonlight and a woman stands before you.  Her hair and skin are shining silver and she seems clothed in moonlight.  She holds a silver wheel sparkling with stars in her hands.

This is Arianrhod, Lady of the moon and stars, Keeper of the silver wheel, Goddess of Fate.  She greets you and you speak with her.  Ask what questions you will.  You may dance in celebration if you wish.

When you feel it is time to go, Thank the Lady and take your leave of Her and descend the stair, the boat will take you back to the place that you began.

Yule

From the Darkness of the Void,

deep and silent,

on the longest of nights,

stars sparkle in the sky above;

reflecting sparks rising from the fires of Hope.

And in the East,

the horizon shimmers

with the coming Dawn.

on Crones, Connection, Chakras, Cauldrons, the Cosmos and the Conjure Dance

The following are some of the experiences I had at the Sacred Space Conference this past weekend.  Each of them was lead by a Woman who identifies as a Crone.  Each of these women are respected, admired and esteemed by their Community and each has had a part in teaching me how to walk into my future and how to connect with others.  I give thanks for them and for the lessons and visions they bestowed upon me.

Chakras

Diving into the earth, into the depths beneath me, I find the place the Mystic Woman is speaking of, the Ancestral chakra, the place where we all connect to all that is and has ever been.  I know this place, I have touched it before. It is the source of the golden, glowing honey that feeds my soul, my cauldron of warming. It rises at my bidding, into my root, into my womb, into my center to warm me, to open me, to give me strength and power to seek the visions I need.  It continues to rise into my heart, my voice, my eye, my crown.  It fills my being until I am fully open, fully engaged, fully alive.

Cauldrons

The Witch is child-like in her joy and enthusiasm.  She reminds me of a pre-school teacher encouraging us to play, to seek adventure, and praising us for our beauty as we dance together.  Her silver curls bounce about her shoulders as she in turn bounces on the balls of her feet, so full of her joy at sharing this dance that she loves.  She leads us to the Cauldron and to the woman stirring and we look and see what the brew with reveal, then to another and yet another vision.  Visions of what we were, and who we are, and where we are going.  Visions of our place in our own lives, and of our place in our community.

The Cosmos

I step through the dark veil and into the Temple. It is dark inside like the night sky and the smoke of incense greets me. I touch the blessed water and the shift begins.  The candles all around remind me of stars and I breathe deeply to make myself ready.  The Priestess is robed in night and crowned with stars.  She casts the circle, opening the gates and connecting them to the Chrystal at the center.  She calls to the Consort and then to the Goddess and opens the Star-gate.  She leads us and carries us with her singing of spells, with her magick and her songs she carries us upward and into the stellar realm, up among the stars we dance and sing along with her.  We each approach the gate in turn and are granted a vision of our place in the cosmos.  The visions are captured in the small crystals we take into our hands and then again we approach for there is more to know.  Then the Priestess comes to stand before each of us and one by one she grants us a gift, or names it, I am not sure which. And then we are again dancing and singing to the Goddess of the cosmos, dancing and singing among the stars that made us, until it is time to return.  The Priestess returns us gently back to our places within the Temple.  We thank the Goddess and her Consort and the Priestess closes the gates and the circle.  It is done.

The Conjure Dance

We are dressed in white, waiting to enter the place where the Dance will happen.  When we do, the first thing I notice is the tables around the room that are set with images of Deities from every place that humans live upon the planet.  There are tables also of food and drink and trinkets. And at one end of the room rows of chairs sit empty and waiting.  Everyone files past the tables as we enter and I make note in my mind of the places set for the Gods with whom I have relationships.  Announcements are made and finally the chairs are filled with drummers and the Shaman begins to sing. 

Her rattle sets a rhythm that settles into my mind and relaxes my body and her voice calls to the spirits and draws them to this space.  I know when she is done that I am as open as I will get this night and it is not enough to allow anyone in.  But I am relaxed and aware of the magick and I am here to honor my Gods and to experience the Dance and that will be enough.  When the Shaman is finished the Drums begin and the younger woman begins to sing with a cadence that is unfamiliar but intriguing.  I dance within the limits of a relaxed body but fully present mind and take up offerings and place them with prayers at the places set for my Gods. 

The drumming and the chanting of the younger woman are engaging and I enjoy watching those who are more able to be open move with the freedom provided by the trance.  My High-Priestess and sister is one of those dancing and when I make eye contact with her I can see that she is not completely present.  This is when I understand why I am here.  I am here to watch over her while she dances with the spirits. 

Our Elder and another High-Priestess whom we both trust and admire respond to my need for reassurance that she is safe.  I need not interfere.  She needs to do this work and she is strong enough to do it without danger to herself and so, I simply watch over her.  Our Elder and the High-Priestess as well as one of the Guardians from our Tradition remain close by and within my clear line of sight should I panic and need them to step in but they understand that She is precious to me they know that I need to stay close to her and to care for her. 

I am present should she need me and they are close should I need them.  And for both of those things, I give thanks.  After, the High-Priestess sits with my sister to be sure she is well and so that I can relax enough to leave her side and get a breath of air before I escort her to our room and she is safely in her bed for the night.

Each of these experiences has taught me something of who I am and of the work that I am here to do.  The Dance in particular reminded me that while my High-Priestess takes care of me in many ways, I need to care for her at times (regardless of whether she needs me to or not).Caring for others is a role that I take joy in but that I also need to fulfill in order to fulfill my purpose.

the Raven of the Void

This past weekend I attended the annual Yule ritual conducted by my Tradition.  I have only attended this ritual once before, seven years ago, before I knew any of these amazing people, before I was a part of this Tradition, this community.  I should not have let so many years pass between.  It took place after the sun had set in a circle surrounded by woods.  The night was unusually warm and the wind blew with an energy that reminded me of summer.  The stars of Winter’s first night were unmistakable in the clear dark sky above.  The path to the circle was lit by candles as was the circle itself and in the center of the circle a fire burned bright and warm and was tended by two members of my Tradition as an act of service.

The ritual is beautiful and moving.  The White Lady of Winter speaks to those in attendance as does the Sun Lord.  But in between, the Raven of the Void comes into the Circle and exhorts us to release those griefs, sorrows, fears and wounds that we have been holding onto as if they would somehow keep us alive.  As it happens, I was holding onto much more than I thought.

 

After the Raven speaks, he invites us to keen, to release our pain by screaming, shouting, wailing and howling.  The sound is not only unearthly and seemingly inhuman but it is impossible to remain unmoved when bearing witness to it.  Before you are aware of it, you are weeping and keening and the Raven takes all of that sorrow and pain and through the fire, transforms it into something else.

I remember some of his words deep in my soul; they were not for remembering so much as for experiencing in that moment.  They are not available to me as memory of language but as memory of magick.  I know that when the ritual was over, I felt less heavy, less tight, less cold, less afraid.  I felt cleaner. 

I have spent most of the past year actively learning to let go, to allow life to happen, but I have so much more to learn about myself, about life, about how the Gods expect me to serve them and my community.  I thought that I had done what I needed to do but, there is always more.  

Sometimes you have to welcome the Raven of the Void.

on loneliness and wishing on a star...

Sometimes I feel lonesome.  Not all the time, not every day, but sometimes loneliness creeps under the door into my tree-house and wraps itself around me when I am curled in my bed with my Pwca.  It happens most often when the light fades from the sky, when the weather is cold and I am less likely to venture out at night. 

Truth be told, I am a bit of a home-body.  I love my home and my Pwca is a wonderful companion but, as much as I enjoy the quiet beauty of my lovely rooms, and the solitude necessary to do my work, I sometimes long for the comfort of a warm human body and heart and mind and soul to engage with. 

Intimacy is a human need.  It is not a need that can be met through casual interaction in the everyday world.  It requires a familiarity that can only be found in the personal connection that exists between friends or lovers or family.

As the longest night of the year approaches, I am glad that I have a tree decorated with lights to cheer my home.  It will stand in its place until I can detect the return of the light.  I am grateful that I have a warm and loving feline spirit with whom to share my evenings.  I am grateful that loneliness is only an occasional visitor and that I will be able to visit with my beloveds on occasion over the next few weeks.

But sometimes, I wish I could spend the evening with my arms wrapped around a beloved and with theirs wrapped around me.  This is my wish for the new year.  The first star I see on the longest night of the year, I shall wish upon it.